DEAR SOMEONE ELSE’S MOM: I know there are millions of families all over the world who have had their lives disrupted by the pandemic one way or another. One way it has affected us is that it has meant that our oldest and our youngest may not get to have graduation ceremonies, at least not for months to come. Finishing college and high school on-line was strange and stressful, but they both were able to do it, and we’re proud of them.

This is certainly not the end of the world, I realize, especially with so many really suffering right now, but I was wondering if there is anything wrong with sending out graduation announcements when it is uncertain when, or if, there will be official graduations? --- MISSING THE CEREMONIES

DEAR MISSING THE CEREMONIES: Congratulations to your kids and everyone else who successfully finished their programs during these extraordinary times.

The past weeks and months have turned a lot of things upside down for nearly everyone, but I see no reason why you shouldn’t share some good news about your children, just as you would’ve done under less unusual circumstances. I’m guessing there are friends and family members who would enjoy an opportunity to celebrate, even virtually, a happy life event or two right about now.

DEAR SOMEONE ELSE’S MOM: Back in the day, I nursed all five of my kids, so I’m definitely a big advocate for breastfeeding. However, I find it approaching weird that our nearly two-year-old grandson is still nursing, including in public. Frankly, I find it icky, and I’m afraid to share my opinion with my daughter-in-law, who is as typical a first-time mother as can be.

Should I say something to my son, or is that being a coward? --- TIME TO STOP

DEAR TIME TO STOP: Breastfeeding, as natural and beneficial as it is, still seems to be a hot button issue within families. Having a discussion with just your son might only put him in the middle of a debate and make you look like a meddling mother-in-law. Going head-to-head with your daughter-in-law will probably not be too productive either, since for every study you could find saying nursing past a certain age is a no-no, she can produce two to contradict you.

I’d advise you to step back and let your daughter-in-law decide when to stop nursing your grandson.

Grandparents Can't Face Summer Visit by Obnoxious Grandkids

DEAR SOMEONE ELSE’S MOM: I have three grown children and nine grandchildren, including step-grands. My middle son married a woman with two children. Then they had three more. Their ages range from 5 up to 13.

All our middle son’s children are horribly behaved. My husband and I do not like to visit their home because it is filthy and the living room is a battleground of dumped out toys. The children jump off chairs onto the floor or onto tables. They eat where they want and wipe their fingers on the couches.

They are super-picky and mostly my daughter-in-law gets them food from McDonald’s or Taco Bell. If she serves them something they don’t want, they get straight up and throw it in the trash. They yell, they fight and hit each other, and they constantly interrupt.

Their mom refuses to discipline them in any way. My son is at least complacent in all of this. When we visit, none of them show any interest in seeing us. The older kids stay in their rooms playing video games and the younger ones stay in their room watching cartoons. We perch on the edge of our seats and try not to get sticky.

The 5-year-old is not yet potty trained and will go get a diaper and take it to his mom when he poops. He is in kindergarten and does not do that at school.

Our son is complaining that we never visit and states that we like our other grandchildren better. We don’t want to hurt his feelings, but both of my other children have decently behaved children with appropriate manners, and they seem to enjoy our presence and are delighted to see us.

We have taken all the grands places like the zoo or the water park, but on every occasion, those five were so ill-behaved that we can’t imagine taking them without the parents.

Now that summer is approaching, my other grandchildren have expressed a desire to stay with us for a week or two. We don’t think that we can handle those five wild ones. Once my son hears that the others are coming, he will demand we take his too. His two oldest may be off with their fathers during the summer, but he will want to send the 5-year-old and twin 8-year-olds. My other grandchildren are in this age range, but as I said, they are much better behaved.

How should I respond when he asks? --- FRAZZLED GRANDMA

DEAR FRAZZLED GRANDMA: It seems like it’s time you leveled with your son. He needs to know his children are out of control, and that you’re not willing to subject yourself or your home to their reign of terror, especially since they don’t seem to have much, if any, affection for you. I’d avoid comparing his kids to their cousins, but just because he’s complacent about how his children behave, doesn’t mean you have to tolerate it.

However, before completely ruling out having the kids to your house during the summer, you might consider making a little experiment or two to see how they’d behave for you without their parents present. You could offer to take just the kids out to eat somewhere other than their favorite fast food joints. Set down rules for what you expect of them, and the consequences of their failing to meet those expectations — and stick to your program. If they can’t behave for an hour or two under your supervision, it’s not reasonable to expect they’d do any better in your home. Share the results of any dry runs with your son, and if they prove to do better when Mom and Dad aren’t around for them to perform for, then maybe, just maybe, a short summer visit wouldn’t be so bad.