DEAR SOMEONE ELSE’S MOM: My first marriage was a living hell. My ex not only cheated on me, but he did it as publicly and cruelly as possible. He never physically abused me, but he did everything he could to bring me down and make me hate myself.

Three years ago, about eight months after my divorce, I met a great guy. He helped me get back on my feet by being a friend first, until I was ready to move the relationship forward.

We got married last fall and moved to a new home in a new state. We expressly told our families and friends not to share our address or other contact information with anyone else. We use a post office box and don’t have a landline. Neither of us is on any kind of social media.

We tried to wipe our tracks as carefully as we could. Still I worry that my ex will find us and make things difficult for us. I know he resents my new life, and I also am realistic about how nearly impossible it is to be invisible these days.

I don’t want to be looking over my shoulder all the time. Am I being paranoid? --- WOULDBE INVISIBLE WOMAN

DEAR WOULDBE INVISIBLE WOMAN: Who could blame you for wanting to make a successful fresh start after being through a bad time? You’re doing what you feel you need to do to protect yourself and your new life. There’s no guarantee that he can’t find you, but hopefully you’ve put enough distance between yourself and your ex to make it not worth his while to go out of his way to bother you and your new husband.

If he does track you down, there may be legal steps you can take to keep him away, but put your energies into the life you’re creating now, rather than wasting precious time stressing about something that may never happen.

DEAR SOMEONE ELSE’S MOM: The restaurant where I was working as a hostess/business office helper went to carryout only when COVID-19 hit. The owners were really good about trying to rotate through the staff so everyone got a few hours a week, but they had to stop that to just keep in business. I am now on unemployment and have had to move back in with my mom.

The only good thing is I’m able to help out at my mom’s with my grandparents, both in their 80s and both have health problems. Mom’s a 911 dispatcher, and has been working odd shifts because of the county’s social distancing rules.

Even with helping with my grandparents, I feel kind of useless and like a failure, especially since I don’t see how some businesses are going to be able to hire anytime soon, if they even reopen at all, that is.

If I have to live here for a long time, I think I’ll go nuts. We all get along, but it is such a backslide for me it hurts. I’m trying to stay positive, but need all the help I can get. --- 24 AND BACK AT MOM’S

DEAR 24 AND BACK AT MOM’S: It’s time to make some lemonade out of the lemons you’ve been tossed.

By taking stress off your mom in the care of your grandparents, you’re helping serve both your community and your family. It must be nice for your mom to come home to a clean house and a hot meal (hint, hint), without her having to worry about either.

Financially, you can use some of your unemployment and/or stimulus money to help with the household expenses, and also put some funds away for when you’re back on your feet and on your own again.

This isn’t going to last forever, and some aspects of life will most likely stay different than before the pandemic, but most things will return to the way they were, and I highly suspect your independence will be among them.

Hang in there. As an older friend of mine used to say, “Better days are coming.”

DEAR SOMEONE ELSE’S MOM: My sister and I have always helped each other out ever since we were kids. Now that we’re both married and living near each other, she sometimes asks if I can watch her two kids, my seven-year-old niece and five-year-old nephew. Since my sister is now pregnant with number three, I think it’s important that I am available to support her.

The problem is, and an aunt maybe shouldn’t say this, but the two kids act like brats in public when they don’t get their way. My sister usually either ignores them or caves if it'll shut them up. I don’t think that’s the way to go, and when I try to hold firm and not give into their tantrums, I get dirty looks and nasty comments from other adults about how I can’t control “my kids.” It’s really to the point where I don’t want to take them out, but how does that help my sister?

I know eating out may not be an issue for a while yet, since our state is on carryout only (when you can find an open restaurant at all), but once things get back to normal, what do I do to get these kids to behave when we’re out? --- TRYING TO BE A GOOD AUNTIE

DEAR TRYING TO BE A GOOD AUNTIE: “Getting back to normal.” That sure sounds good to me!

Unfortunately, your sister has set the example of placating her children when they misbehave. They know they’ll get what they demand, and now they want to train you like they’ve trained their mother.

It isn’t your job to parent your niece and nephew, but you can be both the supportive sister and the good aunt if you set rules and expectations for how the kids are to behave when in your care. If they hit you with, “But our mom lets us,” your response is a firm, “I’m not your mom.”

Instilling a little good behavior in her children could be one of the best things you could do for your sister. Two kids are a hard job to begin with. Once it’s three against one, your sister won’t stand a chance.