DEAR SOMEONE ELSE’S MOM: My boyfriend isn’t exactly a dumpster-diver, but if we’re out and he sees something someone’s put out for trash, he’ll stop, look the thing over, and if he thinks he can do something with it, no matter how messed up some of the stuff is, he’ll take it back to his garage/workshop. He actually does make use of a good portion of the stuff he picks up, but I find it disgusting and ask him not to do it when he’s with me. But he still does, and it bothers me, and honestly, kind of grosses me out. Am I in the wrong here? --- THE MAN LOVES TRASH

DEAR THE MAN LOVES TRASH: As someone who did some curbside salvaging in my younger days, I understand where your boyfriend’s coming from. I also see how his not respecting your wishes can be a problem for you.

Keep making it plain to him that although you don’t love his habit, you don’t mind it so much if he doesn’t make you part of his rescue missions. When he sees something he’s really intrigued by, ask him to go back for it later, when you’re not around to see him in action.

DEAR SOMEONE ELSE’S MOM: I can’t help noticing that my son-in-law doesn’t always wear his wedding band. My daughter even got him a couple of those rubber ones for him to wear at work (he’s a county building inspector), but when he comes to dinner right from work, or to church on Sundays, I don’t see him wearing any ring at all.

Do you agree with my husband that I should just let it be? I’ve never yet stuck my nose in our daughter and son-in-law’s business. --- WHERE’S THE RING?

DEAR WHERE’S THE RING?: Unless you have concerns for your daughter’s welfare, it’s most likely best to maintain your no interference policy. I can think of a number of perfectly innocent reasons your son-in-law doesn’t wear his ring, and if it isn’t an issue for his wife, it shouldn’t be one for you.

DEAR SOMEONE ELSE’S MOM: My parents helped me with my undergrad degree, paying the tuition, while I covered the room and board. I am grateful for all they did, but they’re not able to help me with the cost of my master’s, which I understand. I have always understood they would help me as much as they could and that the rest would be on me.

I’ve been accepted to UC Berkley’s postgraduate engineering program, which is a big deal for my future career prospects.

The last week or two, though, I have been getting a lot of negative comments from my parents about how the large student loans I’m going to have to take out will impact my life once I’m out of school. I understand this, but also figure that with the degree from a top school, my earnings will be commensurately higher, and I’ll manage just fine. They would prefer I go to one of the other, less costly programs to which I’ve also been accepted.

I can see they are really worried about me and I need to find ways to let them know I’m good with the way things are, and I’ll be good with what comes next. What do you think would work? --- OKAY WITH GOOD DEBT

DEAR OKAY WITH GOOD DEBT: I agree your parents’ worries are well-founded. They’re probably hearing a steady supply of stories about kids with solid degrees from top schools, crippling student loan debt, and minimum wage jobs not in the least connected to their fields of study.

It's good that you appreciate their concerns, and unless you can reassure them that you’ll come out as well as you hope you will, I can’t imagine they’ll stop worrying.

You’ll need to counter all the scary anecdotes with a strong foundation of specific potential. If they look encouraging, share statistics on the successful employment rates of graduates from your preferred program. If the school has placement and proven career guidance services, let Mom and Dad know about that too. The more solid evidence you can give them of your imminent employability after you earn your master’s, the less fearful they may be about your future ability to repay a large loan.