life

Friend Pushes for Valentine's Day Blind Date

Ask Someone Else's Mom by by Susan Writer
by Susan Writer
Ask Someone Else's Mom | February 11th, 2020

DEAR SOMEONE ELSE’S MOM: My boyfriend and I broke up just before Christmas. It was a crappy move on his part, especially since I was completely blindsided.

It’s only been a few weeks, but I already have friends trying to fix me up with someone new. One of them has a guy who is up for a Valentine’s Day blind date. I don’t know this guy at all, and while I’ve seen pictures of him and he looks fine and is supposed to be a really good guy, I just don’t know if I’m ready to be back out there. But I also hate the idea of being alone on Valentine’s Day for the first time for a while.

Do you think I should take up my friend’s match-up offer? --- NOT SURE IF I’M READY YET

DEAR NOT SURE IF I’M READY YET: Depending on how long and how involved your last relationship was, I can see how it would be difficult to jump back into dating after such a relatively short period of time. I also think there’s nothing wrong with putting your toe in the water, if for no other reason than to see if you really are ready to get out there again.

If you can make it absolutely clear that this Valentine’s Day blind date comes with no strings attached, you might find you enjoy having a nice evening out. It’s an approach that takes some of the pressure off your date as well.

Love & Dating
life

Husband Keeps Pushing Houses Near His Mom's

Ask Someone Else's Mom by by Susan Writer
by Susan Writer
Ask Someone Else's Mom | February 7th, 2020

DEAR SOMEONE ELSE’S MOM: Even though I get along pretty well with my mother-in-law, I really don’t want to live too close to her, and my husband keeps pushing our realtor to look in her neighborhood. For one thing, I don’t like the style of mid-century ranchers that are mostly what comes up on the market. Also, I don’t want to be so close to his folks that they can come over whenever they want. The only real plus is that the general area is a good commute for both of us. But is that enough to live the life of “Everybody Loves Raymond”? --- TOO CLOSE FOR COMFORT

DEAR TOO CLOSE FOR COMFORT: Sometimes there are advantages to having close family nearby, especially if young children are in the picture. But I also get your need for a little healthy distance.

Talk to your husband openly about your reservations, and also listen to his arguments in favor of the proximity. Perhaps you and your realtor could come up with a wider radius that offers a similar commute time, but also enough distance to allow you privacy and independence.

Family & Parenting
life

Grandparents' Fairness Is Challenged

Ask Someone Else's Mom by by Susan Writer
by Susan Writer
Ask Someone Else's Mom | February 6th, 2020

DEAR SOMEONE ELSE’S MOM: Of our five grandkids, only one lives near us. The others all are either away at school or starting life wherever their jobs take them.

We love all our grandkids evenly. We make sure we see the local one at least every couple of weeks, when we’ll go out to dinner, or my wife will take her shopping and get her something she needs for school, for instance.

When our oldest grandson was in for a visit at the holidays, we kind of spoiled him. He hadn’t been home for nearly two years, and we enjoyed the chance to be with him. When his married sister found out, she copped an attitude that all the other grandkids get all this attention and all these gifts, and she doesn’t get anything. She forgets when she was here since last summer we gave her the royal treatment too. And this isn’t the first time someone’s complained about what one of their siblings or cousins got that they didn’t.

Although we don’t get to do it on any kind of regular basis, we really make every effort to treat all our grandkids equally. How do we convince them all of this? --- LOVE ALL OUR GRANDKIDS THE SAME

DEAR LOVE ALL OUR GRANDKIDS THE SAME: Convincing relatives that they’re all being treated equally is an age-old issue. And, since your grandchildren are at different points in their lives, it’s hard to quantify what each one most needs or wants compared to what everyone else needs or wants.

It’s not likely you’re going to be able to persuade someone with their nose out of joint that you and your wife are doing your best to be fair to all. To try and smooth the ruffled feathers though, you might consider reminding your granddaughter she was not slighted when she visited, and that you sincerely do your best to make sure everyone is treated equitably when you get to spend time with them.

Family & Parenting

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