DEAR SOMEONE ELSE’S MOM: Of our five grandkids, only one lives near us. The others all are either away at school or starting life wherever their jobs take them.

We love all our grandkids evenly. We make sure we see the local one at least every couple of weeks, when we’ll go out to dinner, or my wife will take her shopping and get her something she needs for school, for instance.

When our oldest grandson was in for a visit at the holidays, we kind of spoiled him. He hadn’t been home for nearly two years, and we enjoyed the chance to be with him. When his married sister found out, she copped an attitude that all the other grandkids get all this attention and all these gifts, and she doesn’t get anything. She forgets when she was here since last summer we gave her the royal treatment too. And this isn’t the first time someone’s complained about what one of their siblings or cousins got that they didn’t.

Although we don’t get to do it on any kind of regular basis, we really make every effort to treat all our grandkids equally. How do we convince them all of this? --- LOVE ALL OUR GRANDKIDS THE SAME

DEAR LOVE ALL OUR GRANDKIDS THE SAME: Convincing relatives that they’re all being treated equally is an age-old issue. And, since your grandchildren are at different points in their lives, it’s hard to quantify what each one most needs or wants compared to what everyone else needs or wants.

It’s not likely you’re going to be able to persuade someone with their nose out of joint that you and your wife are doing your best to be fair to all. To try and smooth the ruffled feathers though, you might consider reminding your granddaughter she was not slighted when she visited, and that you sincerely do your best to make sure everyone is treated equitably when you get to spend time with them.

DEAR SOMEONE ELSE’S MOM: I’ve done my share of diets, and know some work better than others.

Right now our oldest daughter is on a diet plan that seems a little extreme. Okay, more than a little extreme. She is probably taking in less than 1000 calories a day and then going to the gym at least four times a week for what even she describes as a grueling workout.

Her father, her husband, and I have all spoken to her about our fears that this is too extreme, especially since she is far from overweight. I want her to consult with a doctor and/or a nutritionist to make sure she is not killing herself, literally. Am I the wrong one here? --- MOTHER OF AN EXTREME DIETER

DEAR MOTHER OF AN EXTREME DIETER: Every few months, the world’s newest, greatest diet grabs headlines and followers. The vast majority of these programs can’t prove their worth and soon fade away. There are, however, a handful of tried and true programs, some which go back decades and have a proven track record.

Perhaps you, your son-in-law, and your daughter’s father should do some research, and then together, approach your daughter with both your concerns and some alternate programs for her to consider.

I also think your idea of having her get some professional and objective advice is a good one.

DEAR SOMEONE ELSE’S MOM: Every year my mother puts pressure on me to buy something for my great-grandma. At 92 she is still in pretty good shape, but I never have any idea what to get her for her birthday. She has everything she needs and as far as I know, never asks for anything in particular.

What do you get the older person who has everything? --- STUMPED SHOPPER

DEAR STUMPED SHOPPER: Don’t feel bad. I know many much younger people who are hard to shop for.

In this case, rather than buying her something, if your great-grandmother is able to get out and about, consider taking her somewhere that would be a treat for her. Gift her with a nicely presented IOU for a meal at a favorite restaurant, a movie, a sight-seeing ride, a day chauffeuring her around on errands. If she isn’t able or inclined to leave home, give her the promise —and keep it — of doing something for her or with her at her place such as helping with housekeeping chores that are no longer easy for her, playing a few rounds of her favorite card game, organizing old photos.

It’s the gift of time that’s often the most difficult to give, and also the most treasured.