DEAR SOMEONE ELSE’S MOM: I like most of my husband’s friends, especially the ones he’s made on his job, but there are two guys from his old neighborhood who give me the creeps. Except that they grew up near each other, I don’t see anything they have in common with my husband. These guys are going nowhere fast, and every time they come over, they rag on my husband for being a “
*-whipped wimp.” If I say anything, my husband thinks I’m just prejudiced because I grew up in the “good part” of our city. I honestly don’t think that’s the case.
What I do know is that whenever he spends time with them, he comes home cussing and stinking of booze and weed, and he is usually so proud of how he pulled himself out of a bad environment, as am I.
Am I wrong to think these old friends are really no friends at all? --- CAN’T STAND HIS OLD FRIENDS
DEAR CAN’T STAND HIS OLD FRIENDS: That your husband hasn’t cut off his old buddies suggests he still feels the need to be connected to his roots. It’s possible that as he settles more into his new life away from what you consider a rougher start, he’ll move further away from the old crowd.
Another possibility is your husband may see himself as something of a lifeline for his old friends, and if he could change his circumstances, then maybe he can help them do so too.
Whatever the case, if you’ve made your feelings known, I’m not sure you’ll do any good to keep bringing up your disapproval each time the three old friends get together.