DEAR SOMEONE ELSE’S MOM: I get along really well with my new girlfriend’s dad and her two brothers. They all seem really tight and it’s a lot of fun hanging out with them.

What’s kind of weird is that there is never any mention about a mom, no photos, no anything. I feel funny asking what the story is, but I do want to know. Would it be wrong to ask? --- WONDERING ABOUT THE MISSING MOM

DEAR WONDERING ABOUT THE MISSING MOM: My guess is there’s a good reason the family in general, and your girlfriend in particular, hasn’t shared anything about the absent mother. What I think would be best is to wait until someone’s ready to make their family story your business, maybe after you stick around for a while. There’s a good chance the situation is painful, so be patient and don’t press in the meantime.

DEAR SOMEONE ELSE’S MOM: People always tell me I need to toughen up when it comes to taking criticism. They tell me not to take it personally, but how do you do that, especially when you have a boss who loves to loudly tell you everything you do wrong, usually in front of the whole office?

I like my job and don’t want to seem like a loser because I can’t take some criticism, but when it's done this way, I think anyone would have trouble with it. --- SENSITIVE BY NATURE

DEAR SENSITIVE BY NATURE: The thing about criticism is that there’s often something to be learned from it ─ yet I don’t know anyone who likes being criticized, no matter how thick- or thin-skinned they are.

In this case, having your alleged flaws aired in front of coworkers has got to be even more demoralizing, and might say more about your boss’s management style than your learning curve, which may very well be a work in progress.

While you can’t count on your boss doing things differently, you can work on not letting the criticism get to you beyond changing whatever you’re being called on to change. If your boss is a bully, like all bullies, he or she thrives on getting a reaction and will only capitalize on any emotional weakness you demonstrate to get at you even more.

The same survival tactic applies in other areas of your life; so let the knocks roll off you as much as you can.

DEAR SOMEONE ELSE’S MOM: Every time the holidays come around I start to get resentful at my great-aunt, who refuses to let any of the rest of the family have the recipes collected by her and her sisters, including my grandmother, who passed away when I was in high school. I was really close to my grandmother, and I have great memories of baking holiday cookies and cakes with her when we went to spend Thanksgiving or Christmas at her house.

My mother has never been much of a baker, so it doesn’t bother her, but I feel those recipes belong to everyone in the family, not just the last surviving member of my grandmother’s generation. Whenever I’ve asked my great-aunt for some of the recipes, she just says I’ll have to wait until she’s gone, which to me is a kind of morbid hoarding. And what if something happens that the recipes get lost after she’s gone? These are recipes that go back to Poland and Germany, where our great-grandparents were born, so they’re irreplaceable to me. What can I do to get my great-aunt to share? --- FAMILY BAKER

DEAR FAMILY BAKER: Recipes are a very special kind of family heirloom, and you’re right to want to keep them going. Maybe, even though she’s personally not interested in them, recruiting your mom and a few other members of the family to join you in the request to share the culinary legacy might help persuade your great-aunt to share them. You could argue that you all want to make sure they’re done right, and as she’s the last one able to provide that feedback, you’d appreciate her insight and guidance.

Who knows? A little flattery could go a long way.