DEAR SOMEONE ELSE’S MOM: It may be because I’m from Boston and my coworker is a Midwesterner, or it could be she is the biggest suck-up ever, but I’m just having a hard time believing anyone can be so nice with our demanding, often nasty boss.

Is there a way to tell if someone is genuine or not? --- IS SHE OR ISN’T SHE?

DEAR IS SHE OR ISN’T SHE?: It’s good that you give your coworker the benefit of the doubt based on regional personality differences. But this may be a case of watch and wait. If she’s the real thing, my guess is it’ll be apparent over time. If not, eventually even the best-applied veneers tend to crack, and a less than sunny side may show through.

DEAR SOMEONE ELSE’S MOM: My husband is our lawn maintenance guy by choice, which since I have loads of allergies, works just fine for me.

What doesn’t work fine for me is that two of our neighbor’s trees hang over the fence, with one of the big old branches practically resting on the top of it. I’m nervous that if this branch or any of the other ones go, they’ll take the fence on our property down with it.

I want my husband to talk to the neighbors about this, but he doesn’t want to cause any hard feelings with them, which I don’t think will happen. They seem reasonable, so I think my husband is just making excuses.

What would be so wrong about talking to the neighbors about this problem? --- MY HUSBAND NEEDS A PUSH

DEAR MY HUSBAND NEEDS A PUSH: It’s understandable that you have concerns about the overhanging branches. Your homeowner’s policy may only cover certain kinds of damage, under certain conditions, and a fence can be an expensive repair project. Property laws also govern how the rights and obligations are assigned in circumstances like these.

Check your insurance policy and local laws, and then offer your husband some reasonable, solid arguments that might help persuade him to take preventative steps to avoid bigger problems down the road. Perhaps you can also offer to go with him when he’s ready to talk with your neighbors.

DEAR SOMEONE ELSE’S MOM: We recently had to do some major work to the outside of our house. My husband’s brother agreed to help. His wife asked if she and their kids could come along to visit while the guys worked. My husband politely asked her to come at a different time.

As I was about to leave for work, my brother-in-law showed up ─ with the rest of the family. My husband looked stunned and said nothing. When I expressed surprise, my sister-in-law simply said, “Yeah, we weren’t going to come, but then just decided to be here.”

I’m not comfortable leaving her inside my home while I’m gone. I felt that I had to cancel my work, which I did, but it was unfair to my place of work.

We think that she was very rude to show up after specifically being asked not to.

What would have been the best way to handle this? --- MIFFED COUPLE

DEAR MIFFED COUPLE: Your sister-in-law sounds like quite the determined woman, to put it mildly, which I’m betting some of the following commenters won’t.

Perhaps except for your husband’s having been too polite, rather than firm in his “no” to his sister-in-law, the situation seems to have been out of both your hands. It’s unfortunate you had to change your schedule and inconvenience your coworkers. That you express discomfort at having your sister-in-law alone in your house is also a pretty big clue this is not the most easy-going relationship in the family, and now, here’s one more straw on the camel’s back.

Since you aren’t in control of your sister-in-law’s impulses, it might be best if your husband finds other help besides his brother on the next big project. That way they can save their time together for visits that work on your and your husband’s terms and schedules.