DEAR SOMEONE ELSE’S MOM: I am seeing a guy who works with a bunch of former military types. To say they cuss a lot is an understatement. When my boyfriend comes over to my house for a meal or to hang out, he keeps the cussing up, even in front of my 83-year-old grandma. I pretty much try to screen it out and my dad has said something to him a couple of times, but I know it really bugs my mom, and I’ve seen the look on my grandmother’s face more than once when he keeps dropping F bombs.
I’ve asked him to tone it down, but he doesn’t seem to think there’s anything wrong. What more can I do? --- WITH A ROUGH ONE
DEAR WITH A ROUGH ONE: There seems to be a diminishing awareness, or concern, that not everyone is okay with constant cussing. Your parents and grandma aren’t alone. Personally, it bugs me too. It is possible to exert some effort to modify your vocabulary in certain circumstances. Your boyfriend’s lack of effort shows disrespect to your family, and if you can’t persuade him that he needs to tone it down ─ even after being spoken to by your dad ─ then it might be better if you limit his exposure to your parents and grandmother. I doubt he’s scoring any points with them based on his conversational skills anyway.