DEAR SOMEONE ELSE’S MOM: I started seeing a guy who works at company that competes with the company where I work. The owners of the two used to be partners, but about 10 years ago they went their separate ways, not without a little bad blood. I don’t want to have problems if my boss finds out I’m with one of his competitor’s employees, but I also don’t want him to think I’m sneaking around with the enemy. Do I tell my boss, or just take my chances? --- LIKE THE GUY FROM THE OTHER CAMP

DEAR LIKE THE GUY FROM THE OTHER CAMP: As long as neither you nor your boyfriend are divulging any proprietary or confidential information that could harm your respective companies, and provided you are not breaking any contractual agreements, your boss may not be happy about your choice in men, but he has no right to direct your life outside the office.

However, and it’s a big however, it’s not unreasonable to expect some tension in your relationship resulting from working for competitors. You’ll need to take office talk off the table, and exercise constant vigilance to avoid accidental slip-ups that could cost either or both of you your jobs.

DEAR SOMEONE ELSE’S MOM: I only met my mother-in-law a few times before my husband and I got married. He’s stationed in and we live in Florida and she lives in Montana, so the only times we met were when he took me home with him on leave.

All my great-grandparents were born in Korea, but everyone in my family since has been born in and around Jacksonville, and I’m as American as my husband, yet my mother-in-law sees me as this kind of exotic foreigner. She always asks me questions about how they do things in my country, and I’ve never even been to Korea!

I don’t want to offend this lady, but how many times do I have to politely tell her I’m a citizen, just like her, her kids, and her husband? --- ALL-AMERICAN GIRL

DEAR ALL-AMERICAN GIRL: I was curious, so I just looked up the racial breakdown of Montana and see that according to current Census Bureau statistics, the state is just over 89% Caucasian. Depending on where your mother-in-law lives in Montana, and if she’s been there all her life, it’s possible you’re one of the first Asian-Americans she’s met.

Giving her the benefit of the doubt that her treatment of you is from ignorance, not malice, you might just need to keep on reinforcing that yours has been an American experience, not a Korean one; and it wouldn’t hurt to have your husband back you up some when the topic arises in the future.

DEAR SOMEONE ELSE’S MOM: I don’t get why my girlfriend is always so mad at me when I tell her I just sold plasma. My job pays crap and it’s a way to make a little extra cash, and hopefully, help someone out. She thinks it’s wrong to be selling what others donate for free, but she doesn’t have to pay my bills.

What can I say to convince her I’m not selling my soul, just some plasma? --- DONOR IN DUTCH

DEAR DONOR IN DUTCH: You mentioned it in your note, and perhaps a better tactic would be to emphasize the benefits someone may receive from your plasma, rather than what you’re getting out of the deal.

It would also be good if you considered doing true donations when you find yourself in a more comfortable financial situation someday. Having that as your endgame might make the current situation more palatable to your girlfriend.