life

Single Mom’s Roomie Faces Guilt About Moving Out

Ask Someone Else's Mom by by Susan Writer
by Susan Writer
Ask Someone Else's Mom | March 13th, 2019

DEAR SOMEONE ELSE’S MOM: My oldest, best friend asked me to move in with her and her little boy after her poor excuse for a human being of a husband ran out on her.

That was three years ago, and while I am glad I was able to help her out, and save on the amount of rent I have had to pay (she charges me next to nothing), I feel like it’s time for me to move back on my own again.

But I just cannot shake the guilt of leaving her on her own, not just financially, but with her son, who has come to look at me as a favorite auntie.

What’s a good way to make the move-out less painful? --- NEED TO MOVE OUT

DEAR NEED TO MOVE OUT: After three years, it’s understandable for you to feel you all need to be getting on with your lives.

Start by giving your friend plenty of notice so she can make alternate arrangements if she needs the rental income.

After the move, make sure they know you’re still there for them, even though you’re no longer living in the same home. For example, consider establishing a set night where you join them for a meal and an evening, or you could babysit on a regular basis so your friend can make plans to go out.

life

She Has a Crush on Her Grandma's Female Caregiver

Ask Someone Else's Mom by by Susan Writer
by Susan Writer
Ask Someone Else's Mom | March 12th, 2019

DEAR SOMEONE ELSE’S MOM: My grandma still lives in her own home, but she has health issues that are more than my grandpa can handle alone, so for the past few months they have had a home healthcare worker coming in a few hours a day to help out.

This girl is gorgeous, and more than a little sweet. I have a huge crush on her, but I can’t make a move in front of my grandparents because my parents don’t want them to know I am gay. They say they would not understand, and it would really upset them. I’m not sure if there is even any mutual interest, but I am getting some vibes that there might be, and I have started stopping by to visit most days after I finish with classes.

How do I take the first step without upsetting my grandparents? --- LIKE THE GIRL

DEAR LIKE THE GIRL: It’s possible your grandparents aren’t as clueless as you think they are. For instance, unless you were in the habit of stopping in to see them most days, your suddenly doing so could be a pretty good indicator you have an additional motive to visit.

If you’re feeling a connection with the caregiver, I don’t see any reason you can’t exchange contact information, just as you’d do with any other new acquaintance. If your grandparents have figured things out, they won’t be shocked, and if they haven’t, they’ll just think you two are striking up a friendship.

life

Parents Pressure Son to Go to College

Ask Someone Else's Mom by by Susan Writer
by Susan Writer
Ask Someone Else's Mom | March 7th, 2019

DEAR SOMEONE ELSE’S MOM: I have been working construction jobs since the summer I graduated high school two years ago. I make decent money, even though it may not always be regular, but it’s enough for me to live on.

Both my older brothers went to college and, honestly, they make less than I do, but my parents keep pressuring me to go back to school and get a degree. I don’t need a degree to do what I am enjoying doing, but how do I get them to back off and let me be? --- NOT COLLEGE MATERIAL

DEAR NOT COLLEGE MATERIAL: A lot of people believe a diploma is a measure of success that can’t be replaced or done without. In your case, however, you already have a strong argument for following your current path ─ you’re making enough to support yourself. That you truly enjoy the work is a huge bonus.

Even though college may not be for you, keep an open mind about possibly taking technical certification or licensing training at some point in the future. Master craftsmen can command more money, and if you ever decide to start your own company, the credential could go a long way, and it might even make your parents more comfortable with your career choice.

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