DEAR SOMEONE ELSE’S MOM: Growing up I always remember my parents shared their income and saw it as family funds. But my husband is always referring to “my money” and “your money”, and it kind of bothers me. I always hear how money is a source of trouble for couples and we have enough for what we need, but should I be concerned that we see things so differently? --- BELIEVER IN JOINT ACCOUNTS
DEAR BELIEVER IN JOINT ACCOUNTS: While the majority of couples may share your parents’ philosophy, there are many who keep money in a separate bubble from the rest of their shared assets. Your husband may feel the need to have independent funds, or that when it comes to money, your partnership is more on a business than a marital footing, which may work for him, but not for you.
Since it’s causing you concern, you need to have an open, honest discussion about how you feel your finances should be conducted. It may be an eye-opener for you both, and until you understand each other’s perspective, the situation isn’t likely to improve.