DEAR SOMEONE ELSE’S MOM: I am the stay-at-home mom with a three-year-old son and a nine-month-old daughter. My husband puts in long days between his job and his commute. When he gets home, I sometimes ask him to help me with the kids or dinner, and he gets all huffy and asks what I have been doing all day that I did not have time to get the kids taken care of and dinner made. The last time he pulled that line we had a huge yelling match that left me in tears and him mad for two days.

I get that he works hard and has a long day, but so do I. Why shouldn’t I expect him to pitch in when he gets home? --- TIRED LIKE HIM

DEAR TIRED LIKE HIM: If you two only share your feelings and needs when you’re having a fight, you both need to figure out how to communicate better ─ and fast. Without trying to understand where you’re each coming from, you’re never going to have the kind of partnership that both successful marriages and good parenting are based on.

Since home is where your husband comes to escape his job, he may have no idea what it’s like for you to never be away from yours. For both your sakes, start planning time out of the house ─ with your husband and without. If he has to hold down the fort for even an hour or two on a Saturday morning once in a while, he might get a better idea of how your days go, and you can have a little break. And, when you can, get a sitter and have a date day/night doing something you used to enjoy together before the kids came along. Maybe in neutral territory, you can more rationally discuss what you each expect from the other at this point in your lives.

DEAR SOMEONE ELSE’S MOM: Why is it so many older women use younger men for an ego boost?

I’m mainly attracted to women ten to twenty years older than me, but they mostly all just lead me on to get an ego boost and then tell me they are too old for me. What they really mean is that I am not old enough for them. And I suspect they also mean I don’t have enough money for their liking either.

If they thought that the age difference is too great, they should have never engaged in a date in the first place.

It’s hard to get all excited about finally having someone to connect with and then find out yet again I was just being used to make them feel pretty and wanted, then cast aside.

How do I communicate before the first date that if they just want a fling or a one-week “flirtationship” that I’m not interested? --- LOOKING FOR AN HONEST OLDER WOMAN

DEAR LOOKING FOR AN HONEST OLDER WOMAN: Not all mature women are just out for an ego boost. I’ve known several successful older woman/younger man couples. It comes down to both halves of the couple looking past age and, like in any potential long-term relationship, finding enough common ground to both stand on and move forward through over time.

The only way you’re going to know if there’s a potential for that kind of a partnership is to approach the first date with your eyes wide open, your heart on guard, and a willingness to be the one to put on the breaks if things seem to be moving towards the physical too fast. If she’s looking for something more than a fling, she should want to invest time in you and not just your youth.

DEAR SOMEONE ELSE’S MOM: If I hadn’t seen it, I would never believe it. Last Saturday my sister and a three of our old friends were out at the restaurant we usually go to when we’re all home for a visit. We have been going to this place for years. After we paid the bill, I headed to the restroom and when I came out, I saw one of our friends slipping the tips we left into her bag. Everyone else was out in front of the restaurant waiting for us, with them thinking our friend had gone back to get something she left at the table. Well she certainly did get something.

I mentioned what I saw to my sister, but now we don’t know what to do. Should we tell the others? Should we confront our friend with what I know? --- FRIEND OF A TIP THIEF

DEAR FRIEND OF A TIP THIEF: I can think of a few reasons why your friend took the tip. She could be hard up for cash, she could be greedy, she could think it’s funny. Whatever her motive, it’s not a normal thing to do and you need to talk to her about it, privately. I can’t see what would be gained by mentioning the situation to your other friends until you have a better idea of what’s going on with your tip-taking buddy.