DEAR SOMEONE ELSE’S MOM: Every year around this time my husband and I start stressing over how we are going to spend the holidays. His parents live about two hours from mine. Depending on which route we take, we can be at either of their houses in five hours by car from where we live now.

When it was just the two of us it wasn’t a big deal to split visits, but this year we have a baby and another on the way and I just can’t imagine dragging everyone through the usual holiday split of Christmas Eve at one house, Christmas Day at the other, battling traffic in all directions, and worrying about potential bad weather. It was tough enough with an infant last year, but this year I just don’t want to go through it all. Any suggestions in how to handle the holiday visits? --- HOLIDAY WARRIOR

DEAR WARRIOR: Unless you’re absolutely set on travelling back to see your folks for the holidays, it seems to me you have pretty good reasons for not doing the trek this year. You could make your intention to stay home clear right now, while your folks have enough time to weigh their options. If they’re willing to travel your way, and you’re willing to either host them or help them find a hotel nearby, consider extending an invitation to spend the holidays with you. If that isn’t a viable plan, propose a visit home in the near future, just not during the already stressful holidays.

DEAR SOMEONE ELSE’S MOM: I am going to come off as a real b—ch, but I really don’t want my sister, who has been in and out of drug rehab for at least the last three years, around my kids. Even though they’re still young, we just never know how my sister is going to be when she drops by, or who she’ll be bringing along for the ride. I love my sister very much, but I love my kids too. Am I right to ban her? --- SISTER OF AN ADDICT

DEAR SISTER OF AN ADDICT: Your first and most important responsibilities lie with taking care of your own family. If you’re not comfortable having your sister around your young children, then you’re absolutely right to keep them apart, at least until they’re of an age to understand more about what their aunt is dealing with. That doesn’t mean you can’t offer your love and support to your sister in other ways.

Instead of having her come to the house, why don’t you propose getting together for an adults-only meal or other kind of outing you might both enjoy? If it works the first time, maybe make it a regular event so that you two can keep the lines of communication and support open.

DEAR READERS: I want to take advantage of this holiday dedicated to sharing thanks to express my gratitude to you all for reading and commenting.

Whether you agree with my answers or not, I’m usually impressed, and often touched, by your willingness to share what you’ve learned along the way with total strangers, whose stories sometimes remind you of your own.

Thanks also to those who find my typos and offer their own brand of advice, which often proves quite educational.

From my home to yours come best wishes for a blessed and happy Thanksgiving. --- ASK SOMEONE ELSE’S MOM