DEAR SOMEONE ELSE’S MOM: My friend and neighbor from down the street started her own on-line mail order business a couple years ago. When it began taking-off, she first asked if I could help her out by watching her kids a few hours a week. After that, she asked me if I wanted to start working with her, which seemed like a good idea since I was only working part time at a local nursing home. Being with my friend originally meant easier hours and we found our toddlers made their own playgroup while we got some work done.

For the last few months, her business has grown so much that we are working more than fulltime hours and it is just becoming exhausting. It is turning out it was easier doing a couple overnight shifts a week at the nursing home. Even though the money was not as good, I actually had more family time.

How do I tell my friend I want to quit so I have more time with my family? --- WANTS OUT

DEAR WANTS OUT: Maybe you don’t need to quit. It sounds like it’s time your friend began looking for more paid help. Let her know how you’re feeling and that ─ provided this is the case ─ you’d be willing to split your hours with someone else interested in working part time. That way you’d still enjoy the benefits of an income with built-in childcare and more regular hours than you put in at a 24/7 healthcare center.

DEAR SOMEONE ELSE’S MOM: My wife and I both have good jobs and we’ve saved up enough for a decent down payment on a house. We’ve been doing a lot of on-line shopping in our city, so we’ll have a good idea of what’s out there when we start working with a realtor.

Where the arguments start is when my wife sees a house with room to grow into, but that we could just about afford the payments on right now. I’d prefer us to get something smaller that we could easily afford when we start a family and have other expenses we don’t have now. I could use some good arguments to help me make her realize I’m not just being cheap in wanting to start smaller. --- DON’T WANT TO OVERBUY

DEAR DON’T WANT TO OVERBUY: You’ve already raised a strong point in looking forward to a time when a growing family will change your budget considerably. But it sounds like your wife is also keeping expansion in mind by wanting something larger than you need right now.

I’ve never been an advocate of putting everything you have into “the dream house” when you’re just starting out. Maintaining some reserves allows you to furnish and maintain a home, plus provides a little peace of mind against unforeseen expenses.

I think you two should keep doing your homework and explore older, perhaps up-and-coming neighborhoods with houses that may not have all the newest bells and whistles, but that are in convenient locations, near good schools, with enough room for you to get a start on a family when the time comes.

DEAR SOMEONE ELSE’S MOM: My mom just got engaged to a man she has been dating for about a year. Although he hasn’t done anything I know of to hurt my mother, I just get a mean vibe from the guy. She hasn’t dated much since she and my dad divorced several years ago, but I don’t recall having this bad feeling about anyone else she was seeing. Do I share my feelings with her before it’s too late? --- FUTURE STEPSON

DEAR FUTURE STEPSON: It’s possible you never had a weird vibe from any of your mom’s other suitors because none of them made it to the future husband stage. Unless you see evidence of his mistreating your mom, you need to allow her to make her own choices about her love life.

That said, don’t completely negate your instincts. Keep an eye out for any red flags, and leave the door wide open for Mom to reach out to you if things don’t go the way she hopes they will. If you bash her fiancé at this point, she may not choose to confide in you at a later date.