DEAR SOMEONE ELSE’S MOM: My wife and I both have good jobs and we’ve saved up enough for a decent down payment on a house. We’ve been doing a lot of on-line shopping in our city, so we’ll have a good idea of what’s out there when we start working with a realtor.

Where the arguments start is when my wife sees a house with room to grow into, but that we could just about afford the payments on right now. I’d prefer us to get something smaller that we could easily afford when we start a family and have other expenses we don’t have now. I could use some good arguments to help me make her realize I’m not just being cheap in wanting to start smaller. --- DON’T WANT TO OVERBUY

DEAR DON’T WANT TO OVERBUY: You’ve already raised a strong point in looking forward to a time when a growing family will change your budget considerably. But it sounds like your wife is also keeping expansion in mind by wanting something larger than you need right now.

I’ve never been an advocate of putting everything you have into “the dream house” when you’re just starting out. Maintaining some reserves allows you to furnish and maintain a home, plus provides a little peace of mind against unforeseen expenses.

I think you two should keep doing your homework and explore older, perhaps up-and-coming neighborhoods with houses that may not have all the newest bells and whistles, but that are in convenient locations, near good schools, with enough room for you to get a start on a family when the time comes.

DEAR SOMEONE ELSE’S MOM: My mom just got engaged to a man she has been dating for about a year. Although he hasn’t done anything I know of to hurt my mother, I just get a mean vibe from the guy. She hasn’t dated much since she and my dad divorced several years ago, but I don’t recall having this bad feeling about anyone else she was seeing. Do I share my feelings with her before it’s too late? --- FUTURE STEPSON

DEAR FUTURE STEPSON: It’s possible you never had a weird vibe from any of your mom’s other suitors because none of them made it to the future husband stage. Unless you see evidence of his mistreating your mom, you need to allow her to make her own choices about her love life.

That said, don’t completely negate your instincts. Keep an eye out for any red flags, and leave the door wide open for Mom to reach out to you if things don’t go the way she hopes they will. If you bash her fiancé at this point, she may not choose to confide in you at a later date.

DEAR SOMEONE ELSE'S MOM: When my friend and I decided to rent a two-bedroom apartment together we both had steady girlfriends. When things went south with his relationship he started "exploring his options," as he likes to put it. What that's meant is that I'm never sure who is going to turn up in our kitchen or living room in the morning, especially on weekends. It has rarely been the same girl twice, and we've already noticed things go missing from the apartment after some of his overnight visitors leave.

My girlfriend has begun to refuse coming over to my place because she doesn't feel safe with my roommate constantly bringing strangers home.

I pay half the rent, but don't feel much at home these days. My girlfriend and I are not in a position to move in together, so I feel stuck where I'm at. We still have nearly a year on the lease, but I'm thinking of bailing and taking my chances. Any suggestions to keep me from breaking a lease? --- HOMELESS AT HOME

DEAR HOMELESS AT HOME: You don't mention if you've spoken to your roommate about how you're feeling. If you haven't, he may not realize he's doing anything that's adversely affecting you.

It's disturbing that things are disappearing from your apartment, and if he's okay with that, you need to let him know you're not, and start locking your belongings up in your room if you can. Also let him know you're not comfortable bringing your girlfriend over.

If he brushes off your concerns, then it's time to tell him this arrangement isn't working and that you're going to start looking for someplace else to live. Hopefully you'll not end up having to break the lease, but feeling secure in your own home and being able to comfortably entertain guests are pretty basic priorities, and not too much to ask.