DEAR SOMEONE ELSE’S MOM: When my boyfriend proposed to me, he presented me with his grandmother’s engagement ring. It’s pretty and all that, but not at all my style. I need some help telling him I would like something different. --- NOT LOVING THE ROCK

DEAR NOT LOVING THE ROCK: It may be that your fiancé can’t afford a new ring right now. It could be he sees his grandmother’s ring as a way to welcome you fully into his family. Or, perhaps he didn’t know where to even start choosing a ring for you. Whatever his motives, this is an early lesson in the necessity of communication and compromise in any successful long-term relationship.

You could ask what inspired him to go with the heirloom. Depending on his answer, you’ll have to decide how important the “perfect rock” is to you, and if it isn’t an option right now, so long as you love the guy who gave it to you, hopefully you’ll come to value his choice of rings too, even if it falls short of being your dream.

DEAR SOMEONE ELSE’S MOM: I retired late last year, and my husband will be retiring early next year. We have been house-hunting near good friends of ours in South Carolina. We can’t afford two houses and will have to sell our current home in Upstate New York before making the move.

We’re excited to be looking at a fresh start, but our adult son, who teaches in a small private school, still lives with us. He pays us rent, but it isn’t nearly what living on his own in our area would cost. He has no intention of moving with us and he can’t afford to buy our house or even pay enough rent to cover the taxes, utilities, and remaining mortgage expenses. Any suggestions on how to not feel guilty about kicking our own son out? --- READY TO MOVE MOM

DEAR READY TO MOVE: Your moving could be one of the best things to happen to your son. Everyone has to strike out on their own at some point in their life if they’re ever going to grow up.

Give your son a deadline for finding a new place to live well in advance of putting your home on the market. If it makes you feel better, help him with the apartment-hunting process. If he doesn’t have any buddies looking to share a place, there are several legitimate roommate finding services on-line for him to explore. Just make sure he does his research and carefully checks out both the sites and the potential roommates before committing to anything. But the sooner he gets started, the better. Your guilt should be greatly reduced knowing he’s hopefully found a decent place to land.

DEAR SOMEONE ELSE’S MOM: Up until recently my father and our neighbor down the street were good friends. I do not know what happened, but they no longer speak to each other and openly ignore one another. Although we are not super close, I have always gotten along well with our neighbor’s sons. Now they too cut me and my whole family. I do not want to be nosy and ask what happened, but I also do not like being caught up in a fight I had no part in every time I visit my folks. Any ideas in how to get things back to normal? --- UNCOMFORTABLE NEIGHBOR

DEAR UNCOMFORTABLE: Even though you’re hesitant to ask your father what happened, it’s probably the only way you’re going to find out, if no one else in your family can or will tell you. If your dad chooses not to clue you in, you’re better off not pressing him, and even if you get an answer, you may not be able to fix the problem anyway. As awkward as the situation is, you may just have to live with it until things resolve one way or another.