DEAR SOMEONE ELSE’S MOM: I am in love with a guy who checks off every item but one on my perfect man wish list. He’s told me he does not want children, and I absolutely do. I don’t know what to do. I waited a long time for a guy like this, but I also always said that no kids is a deal-breaker. Should I breakup with him or see what happens? --- WANT TO BE A MOM

DEAR WANT TO BE A MOM: The kids or no kids question is not a small one for most couples. If you and your boyfriend’s opposing stances on having kids is non-negotiable, then if you stay together, one of you will not have the life you envisioned for yourself. And, neither of you should count on the other coming around to their way of thinking.

As perfect as the guy may seem, you need to consider if being with him is more important to you than having the family you’ve long dreamed of and let that consideration answer your own question.

DEAR SOMEONE ELSE’S MOM: I have worked at the same accounting firm for nearly four years. It’s a pretty buttoned-down atmosphere and people do not buddy around much, at least not in my department.

Recently a new guy, just out of college, was brought into my area. He seemed overwhelmed and lonely, and I admit it, I took pity on him and started talking to him and eating lunch with him. Now he has adopted me as some kind of big brother and is starting to get clingy rather than friendly and it is putting me on the spot. How do I tell him he needs to back-off a little without sounding like an insensitive jerk? --- ACCIDENTAL BIG BROTHER

DEAR ACCIDENTAL: It was decent of you to try and draw the new guy out a little, but it isn’t particularly healthy for him to stick to just you. Before it goes on any longer, you need to establish some boundaries, and you can do it gently.

Make it clear you have other lunch plans several days a week. On the days you do lunch with him, try to include another coworker or two as a way of widening his too-tiny circle. Since you mentioned socializing isn’t a top priority in your area, maybe you could reach out to people you know from other departments.

Hopefully, he’ll begin to feel more at ease and less reliant on you as he settles in and gets to know more people in the firm.

DEAR SOMEONE ELSE’S MOM: After I graduated college a few years ago, I was offered an internship that lead to a career path in a company here in Oregon. All my family is back in Ohio. For the past three years my wife and I have tried to make the trip to visit my family at least twice a year. That changed last year when we were expecting our first baby and we could not make it home for the holidays.

My parents have yet to meet their grandchild because my mother is terrified of flying, and because of their work schedules, a long car trip is out of the question. I guess I am having a hard time understanding why my mother cannot get over her fear and make the effort to come visit us. She could take something to relax her, but she refuses to take anything that will impair her. What can I do to get her on a plane to see our baby? --- WAITING IN SEATTLE

DEAR WAITING: Since your mother won’t take any pills, perhaps you could suggest she pay a few visits to a qualified therapist or fear of flying program. Her primary care doctor would be a good place to start to see if he or she can either recommend any such providers, or perhaps even help your mom directly by giving her some non-meds-based anxiety-coping techniques.

If that doesn’t work, do some legwork of your own to see what’s available in her area ─ vetting the possibilities the best you can.

If you present her with a couple of concrete options, your mother might be more inclined to follow-through, especially if you make it clear to her how much you and your wife want her to meet her grandbaby.