DEAR SOMEONE ELSE’S MOM: I have worked at the same accounting firm for nearly four years. It’s a pretty buttoned-down atmosphere and people do not buddy around much, at least not in my department.

Recently a new guy, just out of college, was brought into my area. He seemed overwhelmed and lonely, and I admit it, I took pity on him and started talking to him and eating lunch with him. Now he has adopted me as some kind of big brother and is starting to get clingy rather than friendly and it is putting me on the spot. How do I tell him he needs to back-off a little without sounding like an insensitive jerk? --- ACCIDENTAL BIG BROTHER

DEAR ACCIDENTAL: It was decent of you to try and draw the new guy out a little, but it isn’t particularly healthy for him to stick to just you. Before it goes on any longer, you need to establish some boundaries, and you can do it gently.

Make it clear you have other lunch plans several days a week. On the days you do lunch with him, try to include another coworker or two as a way of widening his too-tiny circle. Since you mentioned socializing isn’t a top priority in your area, maybe you could reach out to people you know from other departments.

Hopefully, he’ll begin to feel more at ease and less reliant on you as he settles in and gets to know more people in the firm.

DEAR SOMEONE ELSE’S MOM: After I graduated college a few years ago, I was offered an internship that lead to a career path in a company here in Oregon. All my family is back in Ohio. For the past three years my wife and I have tried to make the trip to visit my family at least twice a year. That changed last year when we were expecting our first baby and we could not make it home for the holidays.

My parents have yet to meet their grandchild because my mother is terrified of flying, and because of their work schedules, a long car trip is out of the question. I guess I am having a hard time understanding why my mother cannot get over her fear and make the effort to come visit us. She could take something to relax her, but she refuses to take anything that will impair her. What can I do to get her on a plane to see our baby? --- WAITING IN SEATTLE

DEAR WAITING: Since your mother won’t take any pills, perhaps you could suggest she pay a few visits to a qualified therapist or fear of flying program. Her primary care doctor would be a good place to start to see if he or she can either recommend any such providers, or perhaps even help your mom directly by giving her some non-meds-based anxiety-coping techniques.

If that doesn’t work, do some legwork of your own to see what’s available in her area ─ vetting the possibilities the best you can.

If you present her with a couple of concrete options, your mother might be more inclined to follow-through, especially if you make it clear to her how much you and your wife want her to meet her grandbaby.

DEAR SOMEONE ELSE’S MOM: One of my closest friends passed away nearly two years ago. She was, without a doubt, one of the most incredible women I have been blessed to know. I heard from another friend that my deceased friend’s husband has begun dating again and I am having trouble with the whole thing, even though I understand he is young and has small children to think about. Am I being unreasonable in feeling a kind of resentment about his moving on? --- REMEMBERING A FRIEND

DEAR REMEMBERING: I think you’re feeling an admirable loyalty towards the memory of your lost friend. However, I also think you need to work on eliminating your resentment. It’s hard to see someone you cared for in danger of being replaced. But you also have to consider the natural need and absolute right of a young widower and his young family to move on.

It may not be all that easy for him to start again with someone new, but if it’s what he’s ready to do, he could probably use some support from his friends, especially those who were close to his former wife.