life

Newly At-Home Mom Faces Adjustments

Ask Someone Else's Mom by by Susan Writer
by Susan Writer
Ask Someone Else's Mom | August 17th, 2018

DEAR SOMEONE ELSE’S MOM: After our second baby was born last fall my husband and I looked at finances and the cost of childcare and figured it would not be hard for us to get by on his salary and my picking up some research work from the law firm I’d been with for the past several years.

After nearly a year at home with the kids, I still feel guilty about not making much money, and I always get the feeling that my still working friends look down on me. I am beginning to think I was wrong in leaving my job. Was I? --- ANTSIE AT HOME

DEAR ANTSIE: Staying home with the kids ─ especially a new baby ─ IS work.

You crunched the numbers, took the plunge, and now you need to give the still relatively new lifestyle a chance.

Think of the transitions you’ve already gone through ─ leaving home, entering the workforce, getting married, having babies. These have all been big steps you’ve experienced and survived. Fulltime parenthood is another of those life changes that will take time to adjust to.

If you haven’t already started yet, make sure you spend time with other young stay-at-home parents and their kids. Being with people in the same boat can make all the difference in the world for both you and your children.

life

Wedding Registry Too Rich for Guest’s Wallet

Ask Someone Else's Mom by by Susan Writer
by Susan Writer
Ask Someone Else's Mom | August 15th, 2018

DEAR SOMEONE ELSE’S MOM: A good buddy’s sister is getting married and I have been told I will be invited to the wedding. I have known her since my friend and I were in middle school and I know she has always been a bit of a princess. I checked out her registry and I do not see anything in it that is easily in my budget. Is there anything wrong with ignoring the registry and getting them something else? --- NOT MADE OF MONEY

DEAR NOT: No, there’s nothing wrong with gifting off the registry. Since the bride is someone you’ve known for a long time you can capitalize on that knowledge and give the couple something that dovetails with their interests or personalities. If they’re into camping or hiking (even princesses can love the great outdoors!), get them a gift card from a sporting goods supplier. If they’re big on movies, go Fandango. Hit the bars every weekend? Think Uber or Lyft.

Of course, there’s always the cash or prepaid credit gift card route, which allows you to spend within your comfort level and them the freedom to put it towards whatever they need or want.

life

Friendly Housemate Short Circuits Chill Time

Ask Someone Else's Mom by by Susan Writer
by Susan Writer
Ask Someone Else's Mom | August 14th, 2018

DEAR SOMEONE ELSE’S MOM: I am 26 and share a house with three other women. The others are about 30, 45, and 80. All of us pay rent and the homeowner does not live here. 

My job requires working a lot of different hours throughout the week and weekends. The schedule is constantly changing. I deal with the public and need to "put on a happy face" while working. When I am at home I like to be alone to either veg or to get things done.

My oldest housemate keeps wanting to engage me in involved conversations for which I often do not have either the time or the energy. What is a polite way to tell this woman that I need some quiet time and can't always hang out with her? --- NOT FEELING THE SMILE

DEAR NOT: My guess is an octogenarian living with younger people might truly be interested in your lives and times. I give her credit if that’s the case. She may also be feeling the need to mother hen you, especially since you’re the youngest.

It might be helpful to have one good, long discussion with your older housemate during which you chronicle just how hectic and draining your average day is. Make it a point to let her know that what keeps you balanced is being able to come home and just chill in peace and quiet.

Hopefully she’ll take the hint, but if subtly doesn’t cut it, politely let her know you’re honestly too tired at the moment, but that you’d be glad to talk with her another time, maybe even over a cup of coffee or quick meal in or out of the house. Then make good on the raincheck. It could prove educational for your both.

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