DEAR SOMEONE ELSE’S MOM: My grandpa was diagnosed with dementia five years ago while I was still in high school. When I came home on summer break this year I wasn’t sure if he recognized me at first when I went to visit him at his nursing home. His decline is breaking my heart and as much as I love my Gramps, I feel more and more that I should just skip the visits, especially if he doesn’t even know who I am. Does that make me a bad person? --- MISSING GRAMPS

DEAR MISSING: No, this doesn’t make you a bad person.

It’s not easy seeing someone you love disappear. But don’t assume that just because your grandpa doesn’t always recognize you that he has altogether forgotten who you are. No matter how far he slips away from the realities that surround him, you might still catch traces of the man you grew up loving, and for all you know, you may very well continue to be part of his new reality, just in a redefined way.

Hold tight to your memories of who he used to be, and when you visit do your best to roll with the role he assigns you on that particular day.

DEAR SOMEONE ELSE’S MOM: I graduated college with a BA in English two years ago and moved back home so I could start job hunting. After a frustrating few months, a temp job turned into a regular full-time one. The only trouble is the company didn’t tell me when they hired me that the there was a big consolidation just about to start and the office I was in was soon closed.

That put me in the job market again and this time it took me three months and a few more temp positions until I found another job. After a hefty commute to work every day, I pretty much didn’t do anything most of the time I was in the office. It turns out they lost funding for the project for which they hired me, and had to let me go when nothing else came along.

It’s now been another five months of looking for full-time work and I’m getting anxious. I do not want to live in my parents’ house forever, and I am constantly applying for jobs that I never hear back from, not to mention I am embarrassed to include the two short-term jobs on my resume because it makes it look like I’m hopping around. Is it always this hard to get a decent job? --- STILL SEARCHING

DEAR STILL: A lot of us go through the kind of patch you’re facing now. You lost two jobs through circumstances out of your control, but you can explain what happened on your next resume submission or cover letter, and certainly during any interviews you snag.

If nothing full-time is turning up, consider taking something part-time that might give you a foot in the door of a company or industry that interests you. At least you’d be making some money, and if it doesn’t look like the job is going anywhere, you can parlay your free hours into time spent continuing your hunt.

Try not to get too discouraged. Establishing a career can be like the old joke of having to kiss a lot of frogs before finding a prince. It may take a while, but when you get the job that clicks, it could prove well worth the wait and frustration.

DEAR SOMEONE ELSE’S MOM: My best friend is a good person and has a lot going for her. But she also likes to party hard on the weekends and more than once has ended up in trouble. Not long ago she was so over-the-top drunk that she got us bounced from a club we had been going to for a long time. She gets loud and sometimes mean and now some friends refuse to meet up with us when they know she is going to be there.

I don’t think she is an alcoholic or anything like that, but I think she is headed for bigger trouble if she doesn’t lay off the drinking. How do I say something to her? --- WORRIED ABOUT MY FRIEND

DEAR WORRIED: You’re right to be worried about your friend. She may not be an alcoholic, but she could very well be a “problem drinker.” The line between social and problem drinking is crossed when alcohol consumption begins to have adverse effects on the drinker’s life. Many outgrow the party drinking after getting good and scared by something they did or almost did.

It sounds like it’s time you and maybe a few more friends had an honest conversation with your BFF when she’s completely sober to let her know what you and others are seeing. Expect pushback, but don’t give up. It could take several attempts on your part, or an eye-opening realization on hers that she is not in control of herself when she’s drunk. In the meantime, you may need to continue playing guardian angel to make sure she doesn’t do anything really bad that can’t be undone.