life

Should Roomie Spill the Beans on Cheater?

Ask Someone Else's Mom by by Susan Writer
by Susan Writer
Ask Someone Else's Mom | July 25th, 2018

DEAR SOMEONE ELSE’S MOM: I share a house with a friend from my hometown. After we finished college, we both got jobs in a city about 60 miles from where we grew up. He has been seeing a girl since high school and he tells me all the time how great she is and that he loves her, but that he is not ready to settle down with her, or anyone. In the past couple months he has been talking to two other girls in the area. His girlfriend doesn’t know he is cheating on her and it makes me feel bad knowing what is going on when she isn’t around. Do I tell her about the other girls? --- KNOWS TOO MUCH

DEAR KNOWS: It’s rarely a good idea to spill someone else’s secrets, especially if you’re not sure about the parameters your roommate and his hometown girl have in place.

If, however, you know that the extracurricular activity is only on his side, you should encourage him to fess up to his long-time girlfriend that he’s not ready to be as serious as she is. Then it becomes her informed decision to stay with him or not.

life

Gossip Monger Makes Coworker Uneasy

Ask Someone Else's Mom by by Susan Writer
by Susan Writer
Ask Someone Else's Mom | July 24th, 2018

DEAR SOMEONE ELSE’S MOM: There is a guy in my office who loves to gossip. Most of what he spreads around is either trash or already common knowledge, but sometimes he puts stuff out there that’s way out there, but that could also maybe be for real.

He told me last week that my boss is hot for me and ever since then I am uncomfortable when I am around my boss. I don’t know where this guy got his information from, but he makes it seem like it was a solid source. Should I believe him? --- CAN’T WORK LIKE THIS

DEAR CAN’T: If you’re going to listen to office gossip, keep your ears open for any indication that your boss has a track record of hitting on staffers. Players tend to live up to their reputations. It should also be pretty obvious if he’s exhibiting any behavior that smacks of interest in you other than as a subordinate. If he does, then that becomes a deeper concern and a matter to take up with HR.

If not, I wouldn’t worry about what your gossiping coworker says. Take it for what it hopefully is, which is bad enough – a misguided attempt to be entertaining, even at the expense of others.

life

Fixer-Upper Puts Pressure on First-Time Homeowners

Ask Someone Else's Mom by by Susan Writer
by Susan Writer
Ask Someone Else's Mom | July 20th, 2018

DEAR SOMEONE ELSE’S MOM: After months of searching, my partner and I finally bought a house. It was like an episode from HGTV. The only places we could afford in our very overpriced market were all fixer-uppers. It took a lot to convince me we could take this project on. We’re both kind of workaholics, so finding time to work on home improvements is hard, but so is finding money to pay someone to come in to do the work since we pretty much put all our savings into the purchase price.

Parts of the house are really a mess and lately we’ve been getting into fights over what needs to be done first and how we’re going to afford the time or money to get it done.

Any suggestions on how we can keep from destroying our relationship over our new old house? --- IN OVER OUR HEADS

DEAR IN OVER: To preserve harmony, and maybe even have a little fun while you start saving up for the big-ticket items, spend a little money and effort on the easy to tackle cosmetic concerns, like painting and accessorizing public rooms where you entertain and probably spend most of your time.

The rest of the place may still be ragged, but at least you’ll have a sense of moving forward and taking the first steps in making the place your own.

However, don’t delay too long in getting on top of any structural issues that can only get worse with wear. If you had a home inspection before you bought the place, prioritize the deficiencies found by the inspector. Simple, relatively inexpensive fixes like replacing leaky old plumbing fixtures and re-caulking tubs can be big money-savers in the long run. They also may provide opportunities to sneak in a few more updates to your taste.

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