DEAR SOMEONE ELSE’S MOM: I moved back to my hometown after I wrapped up my master’s degree. I am working in my field, doing what I love for good money. All that is missing is a social life.

I am the youngest in my office, which is staffed mostly by middle-aged family men and women. The majority of my friends from high school have either moved elsewhere or are in serious relationships and not into going out much. My family is nearby, but it is not the same as having my own things to do and people my age to do them with. Any suggestions in jumpstarting my social life? --- SEARCHING FOR FRIENDS

DEAR SEARCHING: Maybe you just haven’t been looking for friends in the all the right places.

If you have any hobbies or favorite pursuits (exercise, music, movies, etc.), do a little on-line hunting to see if there are local groups that share your interests. Or, take a class in something you’ve wanted to learn more about, just for fun.

Volunteering is another route to pursue. As with the social connection sites, there are several reliable on-line volunteer match-up sites that provide ways to support your community, and as a byproduct, an introduction to new people – a win-win in my book.

You might need to expand the radius of your search and be willing to do a little travelling to connect with kindred spirits, but they’re out there. And, if you can’t find anything that appeals to you, be bold and take the initiative to start something new based on an interest near and dear to your heart.

DEAR SOMEONE ELSE’S MOM: My mom and dad divorced nearly four years ago. It was more my mom’s idea, I think, and my dad has had a rough time of it. Since the divorce, my mom has dated a couple of guys. I didn’t love either one, but I tried to be cool with it if they made her happy.

Two months ago my dad started seeing a woman from his gym. “Ellen” seems nice enough, and my dad seems to be really into her.

My mom is always asking about Ellen and my dad and trying to get me to rate Ellen compared to her, which makes me feel really awkward.

How do I deal with my mom’s curiosity without causing problems for myself? --- DATERS’ DAUGHTER

DEAR DATERS’ DAUGHTER: Your mom’s pressuring you about what’s going on in your dad’s world smacks of the manipulative games practiced on their children – of any age – by some divorced parents. She’s taking advantage of you being her window into a life she may not be entirely ready to let go of, even though she’s appeared to have moved on.

You need to remind Mom that not only was the divorce her idea, as you understand it, but that she was the first to dive back into the dating pool, and it’s only fair and natural your dad does the same. Be honest with her about how uncomfortable her pumping you for details makes you, and be very clear that you aren’t going to discuss your dad’s personal life with her anymore.

Your mom may also be worried that you’ll develop the kind of bond with Ellen she’s exclusively had with you all these years. So now’s a good time to reassure your mother that she still’s and always will be your #1 Mom, just like it says on that necklace you bought for her at the elementary school holiday shop when you were seven.

DEAR SOMEONE ELSE’S MOM: I’m in my first apartment since graduating college. It’s a three bedroom, two bathroom unit and I share it with two friends.

It seems like it should be big enough for three girls, but one of my roommates is a slob. She drops her stuff all over the place, uses groceries the other two of us buy, never cleans the kitchen and bathrooms, and leaves dirty dishes in the sink for days. We’ve talked to her about all this, and she seems like she gets what we’re saying and promises to do better, then in a day or two it’s the same thing all over again.

Neither my other friend nor I are good at confrontations, so we pretty much shut up and do her part of the work around the apartment. But it’s getting tense and even when we hang out together at other friends’ places, you can feel something is not right.

How do we get her to do pull her weight so we can all be better friends again? --- TIRED OF CLEANING UP

Dear TIRED: Your roomie must think she’s still living at her parents’ home, where she may have had it too good for her own – and yours. And you guys continue enabling her irresponsibility.

Since you’re not her mom or dad, you don’t have recourse to their motivational arsenal. But here’s one thing you can try right out of the Parent’s Handbook: No more vague requests like, “Hey, could you clean up the kitchen tonight.” Stick to manageable specifics – “It’s your turn to scrub the sink, counters, and cooktop.” Forget the passive, “I went to make my mac and cheese and it was gone.” It’s time for, “You need to replace my mac and cheese the next time you get groceries.”

Another road to communal harmony is paved with less communal sharing. If you haven’t already done so, assign cabinet/pantry shelves for each of you to store food and kitchenware. Label it all with your respective names. If things continue to disappear and the dishes are still not getting done, start doing only your own dishes and keeping them and non-community food items tucked away in your bedroom. Ditto with anything else you find your less responsible roomie has a tendency to use or abuse.

Petty as such measures sound, they might light a fire under your non-complying roommate when she gets the message that it’s every woman for herself – at least until there’s a fairer, more responsible distribution of labor and supplies.