DEAR SOMEONE ELSE’S MOM: My boyfriend and I decided to get married a couple weeks ago. As soon as I told my parents, they got all excited about planning a big wedding that I know they can’t easily afford and neither my fiancé nor I want.

Honestly, at this point I just want to elope and get on with my life. It’s my day, why shouldn’t I have it the way I want it to be? --- READY TO TIE THE KNOT

DEAR READY: Congratulations on your engagement.

Not every little girl grows up dreaming of the white dress with all the trimmings, but for many parents, a nice wedding is one of the rites of passage they want to give their daughters.

There’s no doubt eloping is a practical practice, but it can also be a selfish one. Think how you’d feel finding out on Sunday morning that one of your best friends had a big party Friday night and didn’t invite you. Now, imagine how hard it would be on your folks if you got married and they knew they were purposely excluded, by their own child, from one of the most momentous events of your life. And frankly, if you and your fiancé don’t see getting married as a big deal, you may not be ready to take the plunge.

Okay, enough of the mother guilt.

In your defense and being frugal like you – and the mother of two daughters – I truly get you not wanting the bank-emptying extravaganza you fear your parents plan to throw. But there’s such an infinite variety of ways to get hitched that you should be able to find some middle ground.

If big hoopla isn’t your thing, do your justice of the peace service, but let the immediate families and closest friends be in the courtroom. Then, if nothing else, go out for a celebratory bite to eat.

One step up would be to rent a space somewhere local (think church hall, community center, or splurge on a private room at a restaurant), bring in a licensed wedding officiant or member of the clergy to perform a brief, personalized ceremony on-site, and then enjoy a nice, casual meal (catered or potluck) to mark the start of one of adulthood’s greatest adventures.

Indulge your parents just a little, and you might be amazed how much richer the day is when it’s shared with even a select few of the special people who have helped get you to this point in your life.

I work full time and make okay money. I pay my rent and other bills every month, don’t go out a lot, and haven’t gone anywhere on vacation the two years I’ve been at my job. I don’t know what I’m doing wrong because I barely make it from paycheck to paycheck. --- WHERE’S MY MONEY?

DEAR WHERE’S: Although you may not think so, budgeting can be a deceptively simple skill. But it takes practice and discipline.

Some banks offer on-line tools to analyze your debit card spending. If your bank has this service, check it out. You might be surprised where your money’s going.

Now if you’re really brave, you could tuck your plastic deep into your wallet and give the Great Cash Experiment a try.

Figure roughly what you spend in a week on small-scale necessities like transportation, gas, food – the kinds of things you currently debit or charge. That becomes your weekly cash allowance. Withdraw only that much from the bank and use it for all your incidental weekly expenses.

There’s no better way to get an accurate idea of where you’re spending money than when you have to actually fork over some cash for your purchases.

There will be times – and plenty of them – when you’ll need to go to the card; but if you stick to the plan for a few months, not only should you have a clearer feel for your particular cost of living, but you might end up with a little extra jingle to put into savings or be used for a self-rewarding micro-splurge.

I’ve been seeing a girl for nearly two years and things are going really well. We go to the same college but come from different parts of the state. On long weekends and breaks, we switch off spending them at her parents’ house and mine. Her mom and dad are cool with us sharing a bed when we’re at their place, but my mom and dad don’t allow it, even though they know we pretty much live together at school.

What can I do to convince my parents to let us sleep in the same bed when we’re at my home? --- JUST WANT TO BE WITH MY GIRLFRIEND

DEAR JUST: Your mom and dad are not alone. An informal poll of several of my fellow parents of young adults resulted in a majority consensus on the side of separate sleeping accommodations during home visits.

While your girlfriend’s parents have different opinions on this subject, your mom and dad are entirely entitled to their own views. Hopefully they accept your relationship and respect you and your girlfriend as adults. You need to return that respect and follow their house rules, even if you don’t like some of them.

Your love will keep for a few nights, and by making things less awkward for your family, everyone has a less stressful chance to enjoy visits and the opportunities to get to know each other little better.