DEAR NATALIE: My husband and I have been invited to a casual friend's wedding. The problem is, the wedding is on a Friday afternoon. We would both have to miss half a day's work. My husband and I both have very recently started new jobs. We do not get paid if we don't work, and we also don't want to make a bad impression on our new employers. What should we do? We are leaning toward skipping the wedding and getting to the reception after work when we can. Help! -- 2 MEN AND A DILEMMA

DEAR 2 MEN AND A DILEMMA: Call your friend who is getting married and simply explain the situation. Having a wedding on a Friday afternoon will probably make it tough for some guests to attend the whole event because of their work schedules (and I'm sure you and your hubby aren't the only ones debating what to do). Just tell your friend exactly what you told me and let them know that as soon as you can be there, you will. Even if this means that you come late to the reception, they will know to save a place for you both. Giving them a heads up shows that you are considerate of their feelings and that you have every intention of celebrating with them as soon as you are able. (And don't forget to bring a gift!)

Natalie's networking tip of the week: Is there a guest list that you can look at ahead of time to see who will be at the event? If so, check it out and familiarize yourself with some of the people that you want to meet. Whether they are speakers or organizers, they may give you great insights and lead you to other connections you want to make to maximize your time.

Please send your relationship and lifestyle questions to nbencivenga@post-gazette.com or tweet them to @NBSeen. You can also send postal letters to Natalie Bencivenga, 358 North Shore Drive, Pittsburgh, PA 15212

(This column was originally published by the Pittsburgh Post-Gazette.)

DEAR NATALIE: I am currently stuck and not sure what to do in my marriage. We both work full time, but I am raising our four children without much help from him. I have been very sick this past year and discovered a serious medical condition that needs to be surgically dealt with very soon, but thankfully once I recover, my condition should greatly improve.

My husband fights with me constantly -- which only worsens my illness. He doesn't seem to care about how in pain I am and asks me who is going to do the laundry and cook while I recover, let alone, who is going to take care of the kids? I just sit and cry, not sure what to do.

Should I postpone my surgery to seek a lawyer to leave him, or should I go through it and deal with the aftermath later? I'm mostly worried about my kids while I recover and want to lean on my dad and stepmom (who are wonderful) to help. -- IN PAIN

DEAR IN PAIN: Your health has to be your top priority. You are no good to your babies if you aren't well. Your husband's cruelty is abusive behavior, and you don't have to take it. Schedule the surgery as soon as you can under your doctor's advice. Once you have the surgery date set, contact a good divorce attorney and explain the situation. Get the ball rolling now so that your lawyer can deal with all the specifics while you are in recovery, thereby not slowing down the process. Tell your dad and stepmom what is going on immediately so they can help you now before you go into surgery and can arrange to be there for the kids once you are recovering. I worked in women's shelters and so many are alone, struggling, dealing with abusive partners and do not have the resources that you do. Take advantage of your support system.

You are much better off without him, and I think once you are feeling better, so many wonderful opportunities are going to open up for you and your family. You are employed. You are strong and powerful. You are loved by your family. You can walk away from this pain - all of it - and start anew.

Natalie's Networking Tip of the Week: Listen twice as much as you speak. You already know what you are saying, but by listening to others, who knows what you will learn that could be useful to you later.

Please send your relationship and lifestyle questions to nbencivenga@post-gazette.com or tweet them to @NBSeen. You can also send postal letters to Natalie Bencivenga, 358 North Shore Drive, Pittsburgh, PA 15212

(This column was originally published by the Pittsburgh Post-Gazette.)

DEAR NATALIE: I work in a government office and I have one co-worker that constantly is talking about her personal life.  For example, a few weeks ago she was speaking with her divorce attorney and discussing really personal things in the work area.  If it is not about that, then it’s about her oldest child whom she had to kick out of her house or her sex life and what method of birth control she is using. I have tried keeping my headphones on, but you can only turn up the music so loud.  Short of going to my boss and complaining, is there any other recourse I have?

--FRUSTRATED CO-WORKER

DEAR FRUSTRATED CO-WORKER: If she is this annoying, you really should just confront her. I don’t mean in a “Real Housewives” kind of way, but in a “hey, I’m concerned for you as a colleague,” way. Even if you really aren’t that concerned about her, and it’s more about getting her to stop airing out her dirty laundry, the way you present it could make all the difference. For example, you may want to pull her aside and say something like, “Is everything okay at home? You seem to be talking a lot about some really personal things that I’m assuming you don’t want everyone to know here at the office. I don’t want people to start talking about you, so maybe it would be better if you told just your close friends about things outside of work.” If she doesn’t seem to care and gives you an eye roll along with a: “If they don’t want to hear it, then they can tell me to their face!” response, your only other course of action may be to let your boss know that it is creating an uncomfortable workplace for everyone around her. But, if you cringe at the idea of bringing your boss into it, you can either try one more time and be even more upfront about your feelings, or buy bigger headphones.  

DEAR NATALIE: My sister recently had a baby and now everyone is bothering me about it. Don’t get me wrong, I love my sister and I’m totally in love with my new nephew, but I have no interest in starting a family. I’m single and really love my life. Plus, I’m pushing 38 and don’t really think it is going to happen for me. But I’m okay with that. Please explain to me why I’m okay with it but everyone else isn’t and therefore everyone else is making me feel bad and guilty for the life I’ve chosen. What is wrong with being single and child-free, anyway? --SPINSTER FOR LIFE

DEAR SPINSTER FOR LIFE: The next time someone says to you, “When are you going to have a baby?” try this as a response: “You know, it is so refreshing to hear someone finally take an interest in my life. But let’s put babies aside for a minute so I can tell you about my real passion…” Or try, “Oh, I’ve never wanted kids and don’t plan on changing my mind.” Who knows? Maybe that will shut them up. There is nothing wrong with being single and child-free. If you don’t want children, don’t have them. I never understood the obsession with people trying to encourage other people who either aren’t ready or aren’t interested in having children into having them. All children (in a perfect world) should be brought into homes full of love by parents or people who wanted them. Anything else is less than ideal.

Natalie's Networking Tip of the Week: Before you end a conversation, always ask the person if they know of other people that you should connect with. Usually, people have at least one or two others off the top of their heads that could be helpful. In turn, be prepared to do the same!

Please send your questions to Natalie Bencivenga to her email, nbencivenga@post-gazette.com; or through postal mail to Natalie Bencivenga, 358 North Shore Dr., Pittsburgh, PA 15212. Follow her on Twitter at @NBSeen and on Instagram @NatalieBenci

(This column was originally published by the Pittsburgh Post-Gazette.)