DEAR NATALIE: My friends and I are debating about something. They all wear their engagement rings to their professional-level jobs, while I choose to just wear my plain wedding band. They think I am nuts, but as a young professional woman, I find that I am taken more seriously at work without it. I feel that my employers will think that if I am wearing a flashy ring, it is a sign to them that I don't really need this job, that my husband can take care of me, and they will pass me over for promotions and such. I work really hard and want to be taken just as seriously as the men around me. Do you think this is crazy (like my friends do), or do you understand my dilemma -- Ring Problems

DEAR RING PROBLEMS: No I don't think you are crazy at all. In fact, I've never thought of this as a possible dilemma, but I could see why it would work against you in certain fields to "show off" a glitzy rock. It could be looked at as frivolous or, as you said, make them take you less seriously. Even though women always have been a part of the workforce, sexism (yes, I said it) always has existed in obvious and subtle forms. And while you can be both married and in the workforce, I can understand your underlying concern of being overlooked for promotions and such because of that fact (even though it is 2015 not 1915). I don't see anything wrong with playing down your personal life while at the office. You aren't hiding the fact that you are married, but you aren't flaunting your personal life or wealth while there, either. It is a savvy strategy, and if your office seems old-school enough for this to even be a thought in your mind, then you are doing what is best for your career trajectory. Your girlfriends just may not understand. So, just agree to disagree on this one.

DEAR NATALIE: It's been a little over six years since my husband died from cancer. I feel ready to date, my kids are out of the house, and I want to start a new chapter. I'm not yet 60 and feel I have a lot of life to live. But, my kids are not happy about me dating. My daughters (ages 22 and 25) feel as though I should wait longer, that it is somehow a betrayal. I've gone on a few dates in the past year, but the girls made me feel so guilty about it that I just stopped. I'm lonely, however, and I want to get out there. How do I do this without hurting my girls? -- Left Behind

DEAR LEFT BEHIND: Your girls are being selfish. They are both out of the house, living their own lives, and they have the audacity to guilt you into a nun-like existence for the rest of your life? No thanks. I'm very sorry to hear that your husband died. It must have been incredibly hard on all of you, but you are still here. You took care of your family, and now you are on your own. And they want you to be alone because to them it's a betrayal to have dinner with another man? Only you know the relationship you had with your husband, but any loving spouse would not want to see his or her partner be lonely forever. You are allowed to find a new kind of happiness. It doesn't take away from the love you had with your husband. Your girls need to know that, but you also need to make it clear that now is the time for them to support you in this new chapter of your life.

Natalie's Networking Tip of the Week: Please don't overshare. When you first meet someone, the nerves can make it easy to just keep talking, but you don't want to tell your whole life story in the first five minutes. Keep your conversation upbeat and friendly and don't forget to ask questions! Networking is about building rapport, after all.

Please send your relationship and lifestyle questions to nbencivenga@post-gazette.com or tweet them to @NBSeen. You can also send postal letters to Natalie Bencivenga, 358 North Shore Drive, Pittsburgh, PA 15212

(This column was originally published by the Pittsburgh Post-Gazette.)

DEAR NATALIE: My mom and I have been at odds about my new boyfriend. He and I have been together about five months. He is a lot younger than I am. I’m 31, and he’s 24. We are in love and talking marriage, and my mom says that he is way too young to marry me. She also worries that he is taking advantage of me. He is an actor and is living with me, taking auditions and working odd jobs. I told her that this is the time he should be trying to go for his dreams. I work in health care and have a stable income, so it doesn’t matter to me. What do you think? Should I put wedding plans on hold because of her, or should we get married and tell her after the fact? -- WILLING TO ELOPE

DEAR WILLING TO ELOPE: Slow your roll for just a second. Let’s back this love bus up. First, as my grandma always says, “You should weather someone a year before you make a decision about them.” Let’s see what he’s like for the next seven months before eloping. Second, mothers are often forces in our lives that can seem bothersome, but in actuality, they are the only ones willing to hold up the mirror. Put aside your annoyance at her and try to think about what she is saying. Assuming she wants the best for you, maybe it’s worth thinking this through. Right now you are in the “I’m so in love and I don’t care who knows it!” phase. This is awesome, congrats, but let’s see what happens when the rose-colored glasses are taken off. Does he contribute to your household? Maybe he can’t pay his half of the rent, but are there other things he does to help you? How does he treat you? I appreciate that he wants to pursue his acting dreams and that you support that, but have you thought about what lifestyle that will mean? Lots of travel, lots of temptation, and he’s only 24. My advice? Listen to your mama. Take a minute. Think this through. Don’t do anything that involves paperwork and see what happens a year from now.

DEAR NATALIE: I recently was asked to be in a large bridal party for one of my dearest friends. I don’t get along great with some of the other girls, and a few of them (let’s call them Lila and Molly) are taking the reins on the bridal shower. They want to have this big, over-the-top party for her, and I offered to help. They haven’t really given me any of the details, and when I asked for a break down of what they were going to spend, they called me “cheap” and said, “This is your best friend’s special day. You shouldn’t ask about money.” Well, I think I have every right to ask about the money considering they want me to pay for a third of it. Why can’t all the bridesmaids chip in? There are nine of us! That would reduce the cost substantially and make it easier to share the work. But Lila and Molly want total control, and I don’t know what to do. Obviously, I don’t want the bride to find any of this out but not sure what to do? -- BRIDAL SHOWER SNAFU

DEAR SHOWER SNAFU: You are not cheap. You are reasonable. What’s not reasonable is the fact that two of these ladies think it’s cool to plan everything secretly and not give you a breakdown of costs. Because this is a delicate situation and you don’t want to cause any unnecessary drama, tell them: “I won’t be financially contributing until I see a breakdown of costs. I’m willing to give a portion of the total, but until I know what it is and why we are spending what we are spending, I can’t give you anything.” Or, another way is to just offer them a flat amount like: I’m happy to pitch in $100. It’s what I’m comfortable with. Why don’t we ask the other bridesmaids if they could offer something as well to reduce costs for everyone?” If they are aghast at that notion, wash your hands of this whole thing and say, “I don’t think it’s a good idea to plan together if you can’t completely include me.” See if they change their tune. But whatever you do, don’t repeat this to the bride. She doesn’t need this petty nonsense clouding her special day!

Natalie’s Networking Tip of the Week: Use social media to your advantage. Connect with potential contacts in various ways like direct messaging, comments and “likes.” Giving them little reminders that you are around and supportive of what they do can facilitate relationships in “real” life, too.

(This column was originally published by the Pittsburgh Post-Gazette.)

DEAR NATALIE: My ex, who was married at the time, and his wife have recently divorced. I was part of that mess, but he was cheating on her with many other women, myself included. Well, we have started hooking up again. But, now he is saying to me that he wants to be in a relationship together. I don't know how to feel about that. I'm skeptical because he is clearly a cheater, but we always seem to have fun together. What do you think I should do? My girlfriends, naturally, are telling me to walk away -- for good this time. -- Bad Habit

DEAR BAD HABIT: Don't walk away. Run! Run as a fast as you can from this toxic mess. The fact that he cheated on his ex-wife with multiple women is a red flag that this man is all about himself, his own needs, and doesn't really seem to care about anything or anyone else. You seemed to have extracted yourself from him once, so before you get in too deep, lose his number. This situation has "hot mess" written all over it, and honestly, why would you want to be with someone who blatantly disrespected a woman he took serious vows with? If he was willing to do that to her, what do you think he's going to do to you? In the words of Oprah (who was quoting Maya Angelou): "When people show you who they are, believe them the first time!"

DEAR NATALIE: I recently broke up with my partner, who has some mental health issues that he addresses at times and then ignores at times. We were together several years, and I was like a member of the family. I was like a parent to my pseudo-stepchildren, who are devastated that we broke up. When I left, my partner threatened to kill himself, saying that without me he has nothing left to live for. While this is heartbreaking, I cannot be with him, and he's done this before to garner sympathy from me. But, he won't stop texting, calling, etc. What should I do? Every time I respond, he starts attacking me and trying to manipulate me to come back. I'm not sure what to do at this point. I can't just abandon him. Any suggestions? -- Sad and Single

DEAR SAD AND SINGLE: I applaud you for knowing that this situation was unhealthy for you to stay in. It can be very difficult to break up with someone you have formed deep bonds with, especially when there are children involved. The best thing you can do right now for you and your ex is to give him space. Don't return his texts or his calls. He has to lean on other people right now for support, and if you continue to respond or engage him in conversation, he will take this as a sign of hope for the relationship to bounce back. If that is not your intention (and it sounds like you are done), then you have to make that clear. Things will be tough for a while, but you will most likely see his texts and calls dissipate over time once he realizes that you aren't responding. If you really want to make sure he is OK, talk with one of his children. Over time, it will get better for you both.

Natalie's Networking Tip of the Week: Put the phone AWAY! You would be surprised how many people text while they are having a conversation with someone they have just met. It's rude to text or talk on the phone during any meeting but especially on your first. Whatever is on your Facebook page can wait. Turn your attention to the person in front of you.

Please send your relationship and lifestyle questions to nbencivenga@post-gazette.com or tweet them to @NBSeen. You can also send postal letters to Natalie Bencivenga, 358 North Shore Drive, Pittsburgh, PA 15212

(This column was originally published by the Pittsburgh Post-Gazette.)