DEAR ABBY: I am a 37-year-old mother of two (ages 9 and 11). My husband and I have built a beautiful life together. We live in close proximity to his family, whom I absolutely love.
My question involves my own family. My father passed away 2 1/2 years ago. We were very close, so it is an ongoing struggle for me. My mother has since disowned me and my children. She's a textbook narcissist who has said many very hurtful things and has a new man and new life. Our relationship was always strained, and I knew it wouldn't be the same without Dad because he was the glue.
I have come to terms with this for myself, but we haven't talked to our children about it. How do I explain to them that their grandma doesn't want to be a part of their life? They love her and ask about her often, so I keep making stuff up.
She won't answer phone calls from me or my husband. I believe she has us blocked. She has also blocked us on social media along with other family members.
I want my kids to know the truth, but I don't want to hurt them. How can I do this? -- MOTHERLESS IN OHIO
DEAR MOTHERLESS: Stick as close to the truth as you can, with some editing. If your children ask about their grandmother, explain that people deal with the death of a loved one in different ways. In your mother's case, "She needed to look forward and not look back. Because your grandfather's death was so painful, she is concentrating on things other than family, and although we might miss her, we should be comforted that she has found a way to cope. It may not be what we would have wished, but it is her way, and we have to respect it and go on with our own lives."