DEAR READERS: This is National Women's Health Week. Because of the current health crisis, taking care of your health is now more important than ever. Make it a priority. Eat healthy, give yourself the gift of exercise, manage your stress levels, get the sleep you need, and schedule that appointment to see your doctor or dentist as soon as they are seeing patients again. Take steps to eliminate behaviors that put you at risk -- smoking, texting while driving and not wearing a seatbelt. Your health is your most precious possession, so please, take care of it. For more information, visit womenshealth.gov. -- Love, ABBY
Friendship Ends With Flood of Social Media Messages
DEAR ABBY: I had this friend that I met eight months ago at a local boxing gym here in Chicago. We got along extremely well and even hung out a couple of times. However, she left her job at the gym two months later and things started falling apart.
I started sending excessive messages on her social media, and she didn't like it. By the following month, she had enough. She told me I have an unhealthy attachment to her and we would go our separate ways. She blocked me from all social media, and she hasn't contacted me since.
Four months later, I am better, but she is still in my head. I really want to write her a nice and sincere letter and reconcile with her and have her be my friend again. I didn't know that I was doing something wrong.
I have tried reaching out to her multiple times recently via email, to no avail. In the meantime, one of her friends told me she has moved to Texas, which makes it even more heartbreaking. How can I show her I can be her friend again without exhibiting those same "toxic" behaviors? -- GUY WITH A WOUNDED HEART
DEAR GUY: You have already done enough. You have done so much, in fact, that the young woman felt she was being stalked. She has sent you clear signals that she's not interested in being friends -- or anything more -- with you. For your own sake, take the hint, leave her alone and, please, learn from this experience so you won't repeat it with someone else.
Son Pays His Parents Rent, but Refuses to Pay More for Girlfriend
DEAR ABBY: I am 60, and my husband is 64. We lost everything in the recession. A dear friend helped us get back on our feet, and my son and husband built a home on land we purchased with our last dollar. We have a mortgage and all the bills that come with it. We have no savings, pension or life insurance. I work 40 hours a week, and my husband is partially disabled from an autoimmune disease.
My son, who is studying to become an RN, is 33. He lives with us and pays $550 a month, which pays the property taxes. He has slowly brought his girlfriend into our home, whom we like, but she does not contribute financially. I have asked my son for some extra money, and he refused. We will always appreciate how he pitched in and helped us in creating a new home. What can I do without starting a family war? -- KEEPING THE PEACE
DEAR KEEPING: It would have been interesting to know what reason your son gave you for his refusal. Continue talking with him about it. Unless the girlfriend is unemployed, she should at least pay for her food and a share of the utilities if she is living in your home.
Girlfriend Shares Matching Rings With Married Man
DEAR ABBY: My husband and I have been married more than 40 years, but we have lived separately in a house and guesthouse on jointly owned property for the last 10. We split bills and communicate only when necessary via text.
I am somewhat afraid of him and try to distance myself from him and his friends and family. He has been involved with multiple women and men throughout our marriage, but when I have tried to end our marriage, he has pushed me to remain.
He is currently openly involved with a woman he has "dated" for many years. Several acquaintances recently informed me that the two of them are sporting matching wedding bands. I don't really care, but I don't want any further humiliation. I feel like a sword is hanging over my head. What can I do? -- ARRANGEMENT IN THE EAST
DEAR ARRANGEMENT: What you can do is contact an attorney. Tell the attorney exactly what you have told me -- that you and your husband haven't cohabited in a decade, that he and his longtime girlfriend are purporting to be married and wearing matching wedding bands, that you want a divorce, but you are afraid of his reaction. The lawyer can guide you from there. Please don't wait.
Woman With Genital Herpes Is Reluctant to Disclose It
DEAR ABBY: I am a woman who has had genital herpes since I was in my 20s. I'm single and in my 60s now. I have always disclosed that I have it and that I treat it daily with medication that suppresses the virus. I have never infected anyone -- including my former husband and boyfriends. I do not have outbreaks.
I am often rejected by the men I disclose this to. It is demeaning and painful and makes me feel dirty, which I am not. I'm tired of it. Must I continue to disclose it? I know for sure that I am not passing it on. I haven't given it to anyone in 40-plus years. -- REJECTED IN THE SOUTH
DEAR REJECTED: Tempting as it may be to fudge the truth, I think you should continue to be honest about your status. If you lie and the person you are involved with finds your medication, the relationship will be over anyway.
I don't know if you have considered this, but have you thought about dating men who also have herpes? A website that has been mentioned in my column before is H-date.com. If you meet someone there, you know you won't be judged. It offers a free dating service through which thousands of men and women meet. Many very nice, eligible people -- people just like you -- have herpes and live full, happy lives.
DEAR READERS: I want to wish a very Happy Mother's Day to mothers everywhere -- birth mothers, adoptive and foster mothers, stepmothers, grandmothers who are raising their grandchildren and dual-role dads. Orchids to all of you for the love you give not only today, but also each and every day. -- LOVE, ABBY
Insensitive Question Leaves Grieving Mother Speechless
DEAR ABBY: My daughter unexpectedly died very recently. A "friend" called today asking how I was doing (quarantine, food, pet food, etc). Then she asked me the most unnerving question: "Do you have 'June' with you?" I was floored. So many thoughts came rushing at me at once. June was disabled since birth. She went to live in a group home nine years ago. The friend knew I brought her home for weekends.
After I didn't speak for several minutes, she asked in an annoyed tone, "Well, did you go get her ashes or not?" (As if having her ashes with me was a comfort? It isn't!) Abby, I didn't know what to say. Her question slammed me against the wall. I mumbled a response, said I had to go and hung up.
I'm trying to make myself believe she meant nothing but concern, but I can't seem to make myself believe that the words she used weren't purposely cruel. My warm feelings for her have changed to something ugly. I'm still gasping. Your thoughts? -- GRIEVING MOTHER
DEAR GRIEVING MOTHER: Let's give the woman a perfect 10 on the insensitivity meter. She was tactless, but she may not have meant to be unkind. My thought is that you handled the situation as well as you could since her question left you understandably flat-footed. However, I would have answered her differently. I would have responded, "Why do you ask?" and let her explain herself.
Childhood Bullying By Sister Continues Into Adulthood
DEAR ABBY: My older sister bullied me from the time our parents divorced. I was in elementary school, and she was in middle school. We are now adults and retired. Her form of bullying now is to exclude me. It started with announcing to me that I was adopted and progressed to saying in front of me, "Let's have a family reunion" and not inviting me.
When our father died, she was his executor. She showed the will to my sisters, but would not allow me to see it. Yes, I was in the will as an equal. She told the attorney I was a granddaughter, which I caught and corrected.
When I told my oldest sister my feelings were hurt, she accused me of being jealous and blocked me on social media. It's hard to disengage because I have no other family, but I keep busy in other social circles. I was unable to have kids, and the one child I adopted is busy working in another state, so it's just my husband and me now.
I tried for years to be nice and to contribute as much as possible. I know I have done nothing wrong. I have searched my soul to see why I deserve this treatment. I don't! Should I just let go of my family since at least two of my three sisters seem to want to let go of me? -- LEFT OUT IN FLORIDA
DEAR LEFT OUT: Yes, you should. Disengaging from the emotionally abusive sisters who treat you cruelly would be healthy for you. Maintain a relationship with the one who is open to it.
I have advised more than once in this column that sometimes it's necessary to create a family of one's own if circumstances prevent a normal relationship with a person's birth family. You and your husband should continue branching out socially. I predict that once you move in that direction, you will be far happier than you are today.