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by Abigail Van Buren

Anonymous Golfer Leaves Flowers on Woman's Patio

DEAR ABBY: In the past three weeks or so, a man has placed a flower blossom in a small cup on the edge of my patio. This has happened 18 times. The flowers are, seemingly, from surrounding yards. I live in a golfing community, and many golfers pass by daily. Once, he left a golf ball as well.

As I was looking out one day, I saw a man wearing a red shirt, tan cap and shorts. His cap was pulled low, so I couldn't see his face. He looked to be middle-aged, and he walked away quickly. He has never tried to make contact with me.

My partner is not happy about this, and I'm afraid if he catches the man in action, he may cause a scene. I don't know if I should be flattered or afraid. Also, the man might be shocked to learn that I'm 85. (Well, yes, I am kind of flattered.) What to do, Abby? -- SECRETLY ADMIRED IN FLORIDA

DEAR ADMIRED: Here's what I'd do. I would accept the compliment, but I would also leave a note on the edge of the patio addressed to "Secret Admirer." In it I would say that I'm 85 years old and, while flattered, I'm not available -- so please stop leaving "gifts" on my patio.

Read more in: Love & Dating | Etiquette & Ethics