DEAR ABBY: I've been happily married for 34 years, and my wife and I are supportive of each other. She's a gourmet cook, and I'm an OK one. She takes extra care when she cooks. She wants her meals to be exceptional, and I appreciate it.
Sometimes she will cook something like an awesome enchilada casserole or pork loin. When she serves it, I like to add lots of other toppings, like sour cream and hot sauce or BBQ sauce. I don't do it with everything -- just with certain dishes. I always taste the food first, but I know how I like my food, and I season it the way I like.
She wishes I would eat her food the way she prepared it. She insists that by altering the dish, I ruin her creation, which is disrespectful. I disagree. I should be allowed to enjoy my food the way I want and not be made to feel bad about it.
Why would she want me to enjoy my meal less by not fixing it up the way I enjoy? We both agreed to seriously consider what you have to say about this. -- RECIPE FOR DISASTER IN TEXAS
DEAR RECIPE: Your wife feels creative pride in the meals she prepares for you. When you alter them with "lots of" sour cream, hot sauce or BBQ sauce, she may feel that somehow her creation was a failure. Reassure her that her meals are excellent, but not everyone has the same palate. It may have something to do with the geographic region in which a person was raised, or the household in which someone grew up.
If you need certain dishes spicier in order to enjoy them, perhaps your wife should consider altering the seasonings in a portion of what she prepares to suit you. If she can't do that, she shouldn't blame you for doing it. To each his own.