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by Abigail Van Buren

Dad Withholds Son's Birthday Check for Falling Behind on His Chores

DEAR ABBY: I am writing because I'm sure other grandparents have faced the same issue as I have. I enjoy sending my grandchildren cards with a small check for special occasions or as a reward for doing well in school, etc. My son and daughter-in-law have a reward system set up with my grandson where he receives an allowance for doing his chores, but has money deducted if he doesn't.

I sent my grandson a small check with his birthday card, but my son informed me that he will be able to keep only $2 of it, because he's in the hole for not doing his chores. I feel the check was a gift and should have been kept separate from the rewards program. Who is right -- my son or me? -- GENEROUS GRAN IN WASHINGTON

DEAR GRAN: I think you are. But since your son and daughter-in-law dictate what goes on under their roof, it doesn't matter what you and I think. The rules are the rules, and your grandson needs to get off his behind and catch up on those chores!

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