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by Abigail Van Buren

Woman Works to Overcome Depression While Friend Fails to Cope

DEAR ABBY: I'm one half of a female best friend duo in our early 30s. We both live with clinical depression, and my friend also has ADHD. During most of our 20s, neither of us did a good job of coping with these issues, but we were able to laugh it off together. Now, after putting in a lot of work, I'm finally in a healthy place, and I intend to continue getting better from here.

My best friend, however, is managing her own mental health as poorly as ever. She doesn't have the interest or the motivation to help herself the way I have, and she resents when others try to talk to her about it. I sense she wishes I was like I used to be.

I'm starting to feel like being around her is no longer healthy for me, but I don't know what to do. I don't have many other friends. I live out of state from my family, and I still love her dearly. How should I proceed? -- SELF-HELPER IN CALIFORNIA

DEAR SELF-HELPER: Proceed by continuing to move forward. If you seek out new activities, you will meet more people with common interests. Do not drop her. Call her periodically to check in, and make a point of inviting her to join you in some of your new interests. However, if she refuses, do not let it deter you from doing what you must to aid in your healing. I congratulate you for finding the strength to get the help you needed.

Read more in: Friends & Neighbors | Mental Health