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by Abigail Van Buren

Backup Boyfriend Can't Say No to Teacher He's in Love With

DEAR ABBY: I am an adult in my mid-30s who has no contact with my biological father. My parents divorced shortly after I was born and shared custody of me. When I was staying with my father, he began molesting me. I told my mom because I knew something was not right. We went to court, he received very little jail time and was on probation for a short while after. After he went to court, I stopped all contact with him.

He has tried a few times in recent years to have a relationship with me. He even went as far as contacting me when I was about to turn 15, demanding that I spend time with him. We went to court again, and I was granted a permanent restraining order against him.

Now for my question: He is very ill. I still want nothing to do with him, for obvious reasons. I have an older brother who sees him and takes responsibility for his needs. Am I obligated to help with my father's needs, and should I have to pay for, plan and/or attend his funeral when the time comes? -- OUT OF THE PICTURE

DEAR OUT: No! You are not legally or morally obligated to pay for your molester's care, and you do not have to attend his funeral unless you are doing it to get closure.