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by Abigail Van Buren

Bully in Church Choir Prevents Former Member From Rejoining

DEAR ABBY: Despite gastric bypass years ago, my wife is still very heavy. I'm no longer attracted to her, yet she is my best friend. I have thought about leaving her. Our kids are grown, so I wouldn't have to pay child support. In a few years, I will be too old to pay alimony. However, even then, because where we live is so expensive, I would likely have to move out of state. I don't want to move out of state or lose my best friend. -- UNSURE IN THE WEST

DEAR UNSURE: Before making any decisions based on the assumption that you won't have to see that your wife is provided for financially, discuss this with an attorney. Because you don't want to move away or lose your best friend, you may have to accept that, despite her weight-loss surgery, your wife has serious issues with food and, because she is your best friend, love her in spite of it. Help her as much as you can with healthy eating and an exercise routine you can do together.