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by Abigail Van Buren

Man Tired of Dating Game Is Ready To Throw in the Towel

DEAR ABBY: In the last few years I have had a string of failed relationships. Nothing bad happened, and there were no fights or arguments. The ladies tell me I'm great and an amazing person. Yet they don't want to be in a relationship, or they cheat or lie to me.

I'm a very open, understanding guy. I believe communication is key to success in any relationship, and that together, there isn't much a couple can't overcome. It seems many women come from abusive relationships or just plain toxic ones, and they are scared because I don't exhibit any of those traits.

I'm a kind, caring, supportive partner. If you had a bad day, I want to hear about it. You had a good day? Let's talk about that. You want to go out with your friends? Go for it. Have fun and be safe! You want to go out with me? Don't worry about bringing your pocketbook -- I got this.

I'm looking for a partner, someone who eventually may become my queen. These women love that about me but then do everything to distance themselves. It appears nice guys finish last. I'm not bad looking -- I'm 34, go to the gym regularly, no kids, no marriages. I was engaged for four years previously.

I'm ready to give up on relationships altogether; the pain just doesn't seem worth it. After a while, though, it gets lonely. Please give me some advice. -- SOMEBODY'S BOYFRIEND IN MICHIGAN

DEAR BOYFRIEND: Something is clearly wrong here. Where are you meeting these women who cheat and lie? You may need to go fishing in different waters. And has it occurred to you that in your loneliness you may be trying too hard, which may scare them off?

Having never met you, I can't guess what you might be doing wrong, if anything. It's time to start asking your married friends why they think this is happening repeatedly. Perhaps they can suggest some "tweaks" or introduce you to women who will appreciate the fine qualities you possess.

Read more in: Love & Dating