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by Abigail Van Buren

Affair That Led to a Long Marriage Remains a Secret

DEAR ABBY: Many years ago, I had an affair with a married man. We eventually married and have had a long, happy life together. It was love at first sight for me. Both of us had children with our former spouses.

Since no one knows about our affair, I'm wondering what I should do with our love letters and the poems we wrote to each other over those five years. Neither of us wants to hurt our children or grandchildren nor be remembered negatively after our deaths. It would certainly shock them all. However, there is much information in these letters that might give insight into why we both wanted divorces so we could marry. We are getting along in years, so please advise. -- WONDERING IN TEXAS

DEAR WONDERING: I see nothing to be gained by sharing these letters and poems. You and your husband have had a long and happy union. Because nobody knows about the affair and no questions have been raised about your earlier marriages, I see nothing positive about disclosing that information after your death.

Read more in: Marriage & Divorce | Family & Parenting | Death