DEAR ABBY: I have a friend whose 30-year-old son died suddenly from a brain stem tumor. On the anniversary of his death, I send her a "thinking of you" card to let her know that she is, indeed, in my thoughts.
The sixth anniversary of his death is approaching, and I'm wondering if I should stop doing this. I'm afraid it may cause her more pain than comfort. -- WELL-MEANING IN THE WEST
DEAR WELL-MEANING: Discuss this with your friend in advance, and ask her that question. I doubt that sending a card would be hurtful. She will always know he died on that day, and she may find it comforting to know that you not only remember it, too, but also want to reach out to her.