DEAR ABBY: A few months ago, a friend asked me to be a groomsman in his wedding, which will take place a year from now. I accepted and forgot to write down the date. Weeks later, three other friends invited me on a two-week cruise of the Baltics. I accepted and proceeded to contribute to the pre-booking and group excursion fees, etc. These funds are not refundable. I realized later that the dates overlap.
Both the groom and cruise people are close friends from separate groups. My personal cost at this point is $4,100. What do you recommend I do? -- ALL BOOKED UP IN MINNESOTA
DEAR ALL BOOKED: Do the honorable thing and explain to your friends that when they invited you on that Baltic vacation you had already committed to being a groomsman in someone's wedding. Then ask if they can line someone else up to take your place. As to the money you have shelled out, suggest that the person who replaces you reimburse you some or all of the dough, and then keep your fingers crossed.