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by Abigail Van Buren

New Girlfriend Nixes Time Spent With Kids and Ex-Wife

DEAR ABBY: I'm recently divorced. We have two wonderful children ages 6 and 11. I try to spend as much time with them as possible because it's important to me, even if it means spending time with my ex-wife.

The woman I am dating is also divorced. She has a bad relationship with her ex and doesn't think I should spend any time with my ex, even if it's for the sake of the kids. An example: My daughter's birthday is coming up, and it is my ex's day with the kids. However, we will be going out for a birthday dinner, and my girlfriend doesn't think I should go.

I'm not torn about going to dinner. I am torn about how to deal with the new girlfriend regarding my relationship with my kids and ex-wife. Any suggestions? -- JEFF IN MICHIGAN

DEAR JEFF: Yes, and I sincerely hope you will take this to heart. What you have described is a huge red flag. Lose this girlfriend now. She appears to be both selfish and insecure, and she will worsen your relationship with your ex and destroy your relationship with your children if she can.