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by Abigail Van Buren

Divided Attraction Makes Woman Question Her Orientation

DEAR ABBY: I dated a man I'll call Mike for several years. We eventually broke up because of distance and a difference of opinion about where we wanted to live. I also had developed a crush on a female friend, which contributed to my decision to break off with him.

The crush didn't work out. Now, more than a year later, Mike and I are close friends. I visited him recently and realized I still have feelings for him. I want to get back together, but I don't think I should say it unless I am 100 percent certain I won't break up with him again.

Abby, I wonder if I might be gay. I don't know what to do. I love Mike, but I'm paranoid that I'll eventually regret getting back together with him. I couldn't betray his trust again. What should I do? -- CONFUSED 20-SOMETHING

DEAR CONFUSED: You may be gay; you might also be bisexual or simply curious. You owe it to yourself and to Mike to talk to a counselor and explore what your sexual orientation is. If you and Mike have worked through your other differences, only the two of you can decide whether to resume your relationship or just be friends. (Friendships have been known to sometimes last longer than romantic relationships.)

Read more in: Love & Dating | Sex & Gender