DEAR ABBY: My boyfriend, "Russell," and I have had a good relationship for five years. He's black; I'm white. The problem is, on every holiday -- Mother's Day, Easter, Father's Day, etc. -- Russell and his family go out to dinner and I am not invited. I have a feeling it's because I'm white. His ex-girlfriend was black and she was always invited to family functions.
I love Russell but don't think our relationship will go anywhere because his family doesn't approve of me. My family totally accepts him, by the way.
What should I do? Should I stay in a relationship where I am shunned? He doesn't think it's that big a deal and says I shouldn't let it bother me, but how can it not? His brother's girlfriend is invited. She's black, of course. Help, please. -- EXCLUDED IN DELAWARE
DEAR EXCLUDED: You have been seeing Russell for five years? It is a big deal, and you would have to have a hide of Kevlar not to be bothered by it. Have you asked him why you are consistently excluded? Have you asked where he thinks your relationship is going? If not, it's time you did.
Not knowing Russell's family, I don't know whether they may have some other objection to you than the fact that you are white. Regretfully, racism exists in every community to some degree. Without more information, I am reluctant to label them.