DEAR ABBY: My oldest daughter feels we should be available to watch or pick up our grandkids whenever she calls. I suffer from chronic pain and have good days and bad. I never know when I'll have a bad day.
My daughter asks me to watch or have overnights with her children a month in advance. I don't know how I will be doing then, but if I cancel because I'm not feeling well, she gets bent out of shape. We have had fights about this, and I need someone else's advice.
I raised my kids and I love my grandkids, but sometimes I don't feel well enough to baby-sit or have an overnight. Are grandparents obligated to watch their grandkids whenever their parents need them? -- FEELING USED IN OREGON
DEAR FEELING USED: If you're feeling used, then you probably are. Your health concerns surely are no mystery to your daughter. Tell her you are glad to look after the grandchildren if you are up to it. But in case you aren't, she should have an alternate ready to step in should the need arise, because it MAY. And don't apologize for it.