DEAR ABBY: I found my birth parents 18 years ago. I always knew I had an older sister. The parents who adopted me are both gone now. They were great parents.
Now that I have reconnected with my birth mom and siblings, I have a large family -- two sisters and two brothers. I have a great relationship with my baby sister; it's like we're twins. The problem is, the older sister demands to be the center of attention all the time.
I have tried to understand her, but every time we get together we end up mad at each other. It's like she thinks I'm trying to take her place in the family, which I'm not.
I enjoy spending time with my baby sister, but we can't spend much time together because she lives in another state and it's hard for either of us to travel. When I do get to go there, the older one makes it so unpleasant that I don't even want to go. How can I get over this or care less about her crap? Thanks! -- MIDDLE SISTER IN THE WEST
DEAR MIDDLE SISTER: You might care less about your older sister's "attitude" if you understand she behaves that way because she may be feeling threatened. By being nasty she's trying to protect her turf. That you and the younger one have bonded "like twins" makes her feel excluded. Try to resent her less, sympathize more, and make her feel included. However, if that doesn't work, see less of her so she can't ruin the visit.