DEAR ABBY: We just hosted the family for our annual post-Christmas get-together. My brother-in-law's girlfriend of many years was on her cellphone during the cocktail hour, the entire dessert course and the gift exchange. When I mentioned to my husband how rude she was, he told me she had been checking football scores and cheering/commenting while my daughter was playing the violin song her ensemble had played for the holiday concert.
I never answer my phone when I'm entertaining guests because they are where my attention should be. My daughters have been taught that it's rude to be on the phone during dinner and when guests are over.
How can I nip this in the bud without causing a rift with my brother-in-law, whom I love dearly? If "Pseudo Auntie" does not want to socialize with the people she has been invited to be with, she should stay home. -- OFFENDED IN NEW JERSEY
DEAR OFFENDED: I agree with you that "Pseudo Auntie's" behavior was rude, and I don't blame you for feeling upset about it. I do not think that it should cause a rift if you were to tell your brother-in-law and his girlfriend that using her cellphone during the dinner you worked so hard to prepare, and during your daughter's violin recital, caused hurt feelings. And tell them that in the future you would like her to leave her phone elsewhere during family gatherings in your home.