DEAR ABBY: My friend of 25 years, "Violet," moved back to town a few months ago after living far away for the last 10 years. Whereas we've always called and confided in each other often, now that she's here, I rarely see her, never talk with her and receive polite but curt refusals to do anything together.
I know the move was stressful for her, and I suspect the problem is more about her than me. But I am really hurt, and I miss her. My last request to get together and talk was met with, "I'm only doing what I feel I can enjoy and manage." It seems like that doesn't include our friendship.
Should I simply leave my old friend alone, or is there something you can suggest? -- JUST PLAIN SAD
DEAR SAD: Write Violet a short, sweet note. Tell her that you care about her, have always treasured her friendship and hope it will continue. Let her know that when she feels like talking, you will be there for her. It's really all you can do at this point.
After that, the ball will be in her court and you should NOT sit by the phone waiting for a call. Go on with your life and your other friendships as before. If she responds, terrific. If not, it will be her loss. Do not make it yours.