DEAR ABBY: I have been married for 3 1/2 years to my wonderful husband. We are both 51. It's my first marriage and his second. He complains that I am not sensual enough for his needs, or intimate enough. I have been with only two men in my life but have dated a lot. I'm Catholic and had no complaints from my ex-fiance.
My question is: How do I become more sensual and intimate? His complaints are vague. We see a marriage counselor every three weeks. I can ask the counselor. I can ask a close friend. I can buy books, but thought I'd also give you a try. -- NOT GOOD ENOUGH IN NEW HAMPSHIRE
DEAR NOT GOOD: Honest communication is essential in a strong marriage, so the person to ask is your husband because only he can answer this question.
I'm glad that the two of you are in marriage counseling, and I recommend you raise this subject during your next session. Because your husband seems capable of only vague answers when you have asked for clarification, your counselor may be able to encourage him to open up. If that's not possible, then the two of you should consult a licensed sex therapist.