DEAR ABBY: My daughter is a 29-year-old new mother. I know times have changed since I was a new mom, but the restrictions my daughter has put on visiting her and my new grandson are unrealistic.
Since his birth three weeks ago, I have seen him only once -- at the hospital. She has taken him on two outings: one where there were 10 people and another where there were more than 100. (My grandson has not yet received any of his childhood vaccinations.)
My daughter now says that when I visit, I must change into freshly washed clothes before entering her house. She's afraid that the secondhand smoke will harm him.
I'm not unintelligent. I have bought disinfectants to spray on myself, as well as breath strips. I also wash my hands, arms and face before I hold him. Am I unrealistic in thinking she's asking too much, or should I say something to her and let her know how much she has hurt me? -- CRYING DAY AND NIGHT
DEAR CRYING: I do think you should talk to your daughter. What she may be trying to do is encourage you to quit smoking. I doubt that she's doing it to be hurtful.
Her motivation may be that she knows how unhealthy smoking is and would like you to be around until your grandchild is well into adulthood. The odds of that happening will be higher if you can find a way to give up tobacco. And when you do, consider putting all the money you save -- and it will be plenty -- into an education fund for your grandson.