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by Abigail Van Buren

Obsession With Boyfriend's Ex Leads To Social Media Stalking

DEAR ABBY: I recently moved in with my boyfriend, "Teddy." We are both in our 20s. Five years ago, he married his high school sweetheart. Two years later, she cheated on him and left. Teddy and I have talked about the situation countless times. I know he doesn't love her anymore and cares for me a lot.

Abby, I lose sleep over their relationship. I can't stop thinking about how she left him -- not the other way around -- and if he hadn't caught her cheating they would still be together. I Google her to see if I can find out anything about them. I check her social media sites multiple times a day. I know I'm being ridiculous, but I'm obsessed with her!

Teddy is such a caring man, he tells me everything I want to know, but my obsession with her and their relationship is starting to get to him. I don't want to lose him, but at the same time I wonder if I will have to leave because I can't get over their marriage. What should I do? -- OBSESSED IN OHIO

DEAR OBSESSED: There's an old saying that applies to your situation: One man's trash is another man's treasure. Your boyfriend's ex didn't recognize what a prize she had, fouled the nest and threw him away. How lucky for you that she did.

I can understand your being curious about her; what I can't understand is your compulsion to stalk her online. What she's doing these days has no effect on you or your relationship with Teddy. If you keep this up, you will drive him away. If you can't stop, find a licensed mental health professional who can give you the tools to overcome your insecurity. It will be money well spent.

Read more in: Love & Dating | Mental Health