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by Abigail Van Buren

Mourner Is Castigated For Not Wearing Black To Funeral

DEAR ABBY: I recently attended the funeral of my ex-husband's uncle. I wore a conservative suit in dark navy blue with a white blouse. Several family members criticized me for not wearing black. I assumed that because I'm no longer a family member, that I wasn't required to dress as one. Should I have worn black? -- DIVORCEE IN PENNSYLVANIA

DEAR DIVORCEE: No. You showed respect for the deceased by attending. Sometimes funerals (and weddings) bring out the worst rather than the best in people. I'm surprised your ex-husband's family took time out from their grief to notice what you were wearing. It appears no good deed goes unpunished.

Read more in: Death | Etiquette & Ethics