DEAR ABBY: My girlfriend and I have called it quits after three years. Distance was the main reason. It wasn't a bad breakup, but it's still a difficult transition for both of us. She would rather we not see or speak to each other for a while to let things heal.
Her birthday is coming up soon, and I don't feel right not acknowledging it. Her special day means a lot to her, and I still love and respect her for who she is. Is sending a card and gift appropriate, or should I just leave her be? -- DISTANCE WAS THE REASON
DEAR DISTANCE: Send a birthday card and tell her that because the day is special, you couldn't let it pass unacknowledged. It shouldn't be necessary to send a gift in light of the fact that you are no longer a couple.